Memories of Love
by Hajimari
Summary: How can you love, when you can’t remember the person you love? Lavi x Lenalee. More summary inside
1. Forgotten

Disclaimer: D. Gray Man does not belong to me. Although I would gladly give up all my chocolate cakes and fruit pies for it!

Summary: When Lenalee suffers from amnesia, Komui ordered Lavi to look after her. Bitter and sweet feelings develop, friends become rivals of love and uncertainties arise. How can you love, when you can't remember the person you love? Lavi x Lenalee

**Hajimari's A/N**: Okay everyone, this story is **collaboration with my friend, yinlin56**, who just joined fanfiction(dot)net the day before. And we have decided that I, Hajimari, will be writing the even chapters while yinlin56 will be writing the odd chapters. Please excuse the different writing styles and don't worry, the flow of the story will be smooth. So enjoy this first chapter! Again, I beg you to excuse my imperfect language and usage of words.

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_**Chapter 1: Forgotten**_

It was a decision that Lenalee Lee had made, the toughest decision that she has probably made in her whole life.

It was the decision to confess her feelings – her real feelings – for Lavi, the boy of her dreams, and someone who was probably more suited to be a friend rather than a boyfriend as he was quite a charmer.

And he should be a friend, as Lenalee had told herself. Lavi has a girlfriend for heaven's sake! However, she couldn't hide her feelings from him anymore. If she did, she would find herself thinking of him every night, craving for his affection and her heart melting at the very sight of him.

Lenalee stood at the school gates, her heart pounding as she anxiously waited for Lavi. Rejection was almost certain. Although Lavi was a playboy, he is definitely loyal to whoever he loves, and currently, that blessed person was his girlfriend, Chomesuke, a girl with dull blond hair with a joyful character whose liveliness never cease.

The bell rang suddenly, breaking her train of thoughts successfully. She held her books close to her chest and felt like she could faint anytime. Her sleek dark green hair flowed along with the breeze as she paced distractedly. How can she even begin?

"Hello, Lavi! Can I talk to you for a moment?!" Lenalee rehearsed with a happy voice and a smiling face, sparkles and stars showing in the background. But her façade fell later and she laughed pathetically at herself. She sighed and muttered to herself with a crestfallen expression, "I don't even know how to start. How can I tell Lavi about it?"

"Tell me about what?" The familiar voice rang in Lenalee's ears, and she could feel herself melting under the shadow he had cast over her as he was much taller than her.

"Lavi!" Lenalee cried out, her heart pounding desperately and her voice caught in the back of her throat. What does she do now? How does she even respond?

"Um…I…er…" Lenalee stuttered, not able to find any words to say all of a sudden when she wanted to tell him so many things.

"Goodbye, Lavi." Another voice said and Lenalee looked up from her trance. She saw Chomesuke tiptoeing and kissed Lavi on the cheek as they bid goodbye in their own mushy way. In front of Lenalee!

She felt heartbroken, but she expected it. As Chomesuke walked away, Lenalee found that she had Lavi's attention now.

"Allen is having extra remedial lessons." Lavi told her nonchalantly and Lenalee stared at him blankly. "I thought you were waiting for him." The boy added helpfully.

"Oh, I see." Lenalee nodded half-heartedly. She didn't want to talk about Allen, her other best friend. She wanted to talk to Lavi, ask him about his day and confess to him. But clearly, Lavi had thought that she was all for Allen. "Actually, no, I'm not waiting for Allen." Lenalee said, her head lowered in shyness in front of Lavi.

"Didn't you say you had something to tell me?" Lavi asked. The two of them had started to walk to the park, a daily routine that the two friends perform. It was there where they sat down on a bench under a cool shade, simply just chatting and laughing.

However, the mood that day was slightly different. The problem didn't lie with Lavi but Lenalee. Lavi had noticed that his friend had been acting rather strange but didn't question. However, now that she failed to laugh at his jokes – something Lenalee will always do – Lavi had all reasons to claim that the black-haired girl is being troubled or unhappy.

"There's something wrong with you today, Lenalee." Lavi stated his observation, resulting in a wide-eyed Lenalee who looked amazed and surprised. "What happened?"

"I…" The black-haired girl couldn't start. Whenever she looked at him, all thoughts will be lost. All she wanted to do was to touch his cheek softly and tell him how much she likes him, undo the green band around his hair and run his fingers through his mass of red hair in an intimate way.

Like what couples would usually do.

She turned away, her expression frowning and her heart beat in an uneven beats. She inhaled a deep breath and exhaled, turning to face Lavi with an expression of determination, which scared and surprised Lavi just a little.

"I…I like you, Lavi!" Lenalee confessed, her hands clutched into fists and her eyes closed tightly, not daring to look at Lavi in the face. Not willing to face humiliation, she ran off to as far as her legs can carry her.

"Lenalee!" Lavi called her loudly but the black-haired girl didn't look back. He chased after her quickly, hoping to at least apologize for being unable to return her feelings. He knew how she felt, how terrifying and stupid to confess to a friend – a best friend – about her feelings, even after knowing that he has a girlfriend.

Suddenly, he saw a truck coming Lenalee's way as she ran. "Lenalee, look out!" Lavi shouted. He saw her stopping to look sideways, but her response was too slow. She couldn't run away.

There was a sharp screeching when the truck applied its brakes but it was too late. Lenalee lay in the middle of the road, her body motionless. There was blood of bright red flowing slowly from her head, and there were visible scratches and nasty bruises.

"Lenalee!" Lavi ran to her aid, holding her lifeless form in his arms as he shouted to the surrounding passers-by to call for the ambulance.

The ambulance came within minutes. Paramedics placed Lenalee on a stretcher and carried her into the white van with Lavi trailing behind. He sat at the side as he saw the paramedics placed an oxygen mask over her face and monitor the small screen at the side to check for signs of life.

Lavi took her soft and smooth hands into his big ones. Her hands were growing cooler and Lavi clutched her hands tighter. The paramedics asked for the phone numbers of Lenalee's family, but Lavi could only give them her brother's number, knowing that her parents were on a business trip.

When they reached the hospital, Lenalee was whisked away into an operation room, where Lavi waited faithfully outside. After a few minutes, the light above the door of the operating theatre shone red and Lavi knew that the operation was undergoing.

Suddenly, he heard fast tapping footsteps. He turned quickly and saw Komui Lee, Lenalee's elder brother. Komui walked with a worried expression, and when he saw Lavi, he took big strides towards him.

"What happened to Lenalee?" Komui asked Lavi, who could only look away in shame. Komui lost his patience and took Lavi by the collar of his shirt and pinned him angrily on the wall. "It's because of you, isn't it?! I'm asking you, what happened?!"

"I…" Lavi could hardly find words to begin with. So, with a heavy sigh, he said, "A truck knocked her down." He stopped there, not willing to reveal the rest of the story.

Komui collapsed onto a nearby chair, his head in his hands. Lavi could understand his feelings and he didn't blame Komui for his violent action just now. He had expected a hard punch on his face, but it never came.

"Doctor, how is my sister?" Komui asked anxiously when he saw the doctor exited the operation theater and the bright red light became a dull red. Lavi came to Komui's side quickly, hoping to hear about her condition.

"You are…?" The doctor asked.

"I'm Lenalee's brother, Komui Lee." Komui quickly introduced himself then asked again, "So how is Lenalee? How is my sister?"

Komui and Lavi saw the nurses pushing her bed trolley along the corridor and disappearing around the corner behind the doctor.

"Your sister will be fine." The doctor said with a reassuring smile and both of them heaved a sigh of relief. "She'll be awake soon. So maybe you would like to be at her side when she wakes up." Giving a small bow, the doctor walked away.

"Lavi, now that I know that Lenalee is fine, I would like to take my leave." Komui told his red-haired associate. "You see, I left the lab early to come here, so I need to return to get my work done. I'll return as soon as possible. You'll take care of Lenalee, won't you?"

Lavi nodded in agreement and understanding, knowing how Komui had complete passion for his job as a chief scientist. Komui gave him a grateful smile and went off. The red-haired boy walked to Lenalee's ward with mixed feelings; feelings of guilt and relief. Now, as he stood in front of the door to his friend's single ward, he hesitated on twisting the doorknob and entering. Determined, Lavi breathed in deeply and open the door, taking his first step in.

He was relieved to find Lenalee still comatose. He sat on the armchair next to the bed and looked at her peaceful expression at rest. For once, he realized that she had long eyelashes and he smiled to himself.

What if Lenalee woke up and told him to go away? He would lose a friend in a click of fingers. If only he had handled the situation well, tell her quickly but gently that he likes Chomesuke, none of this would have happened. No accident and probably, their friendship would be salvaged somehow.

After half an hour of pondering, Lavi saw Lenalee stirring, the drips attached to her swayed gently as her hand moved.

"Lenalee." Lavi said her name with a tone of relief. God knows how glad is he to see Lenalee wake up! He smiled, but at the same time, he felt a sense of shyness after all that has happened. Everything had happened so fast, and what seemed like a disastrous scenario ended wonderfully. It seems to Lavi that those moments of Lenalee's confession was merely a feint, fabricated from his own imaginations, yet they were not unreal.

"I'm so glad you're awake." Lavi told Lenalee, who continued to stare at him with confused round eyes, which the red-haired guy failed to notice. "Komui said he had to return to the lab to continue his research, but he'll return to see you later."

"Onii-chan is coming later?" Lenalee asked softly.

"Yeah," Lavi nodded his head.

"You know onii-chan?" She asked again, a look of confusion evident on her face.

"Lenalee, what are you talking about?" Lavi replied nervously, an unpleasant feeling accumulating inside him. "Of course I know him. I met him many times previously when Allen and the rest of us came to your house." Then, Lavi gulped in realization, forcing out the words that were caught at the back of his throat, "Do you not remember?"

Lenalee wore an expression of perplexity, showing no understanding at all. Without hesitation, she asked simply…

"Who are you?"

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A/N: Okay, sorry for the cliffhanger. Review if you want the next chapter, okay? Hope you have enjoyed that!


	2. Alone

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that D Gray Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino, right?

**Yinlin56's A/N**: Like what Hajimari has mentioned, I will be writing this chapter. Since I'm new at this, please forgive me for my poor description and language use. Also, it's up to you to imagine how the nurse looks like so, please enjoy!

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_**Chapter 2: Alone**_

Lavi's heartbeat paused for a couple of seconds, his mind waiting to process what to say to Lenalee, now that she seems to forget about him.

"Lenalee, don't you remember me? What about our friends, Allen, Kanda, Krory, and Miranda, don't you remember any of us? And your brother Komui?" Lavi blurted out with his trembling vocals that filled with anxiety and concern, gripping her shoulders nervously.

"I don't get what you mean, who's Allen and K...Krory? I only know onii-chan." She asked with her gentle and melodious voice, which always seemed to fascinate the group of friends.

Lavi was stumped. He backed a few steps away, just to fall into the armchair beside the bed.

He stood up again and carried on, "Then, are you aware of how you got into the accident?"

Lenalee tried to regain the information, and tilted her head to the left, backtracking to where she was before the accident.

"I...I was waiting for someone at the school gates... and when the person arrived, he... he... No! I can't remember anymore!" She cupped her bandage head with her hands, gripping her smooth green hair while bending her knees close to her chest, frowning about what she failed to remember.

Seeing such a frail and gentle girl in front of his eyes having to suffer the pain of trying to regain the lost memory caused by him, Lavi could stand it no longer. He felt his heartbeat increasing, noticing his arms moving over to embrace Lenalee to rest on his broad shoulders, and unknowingly, tears of remorse and regret started flowing down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I did not expect this to happen. If my reaction was faster, I would have made it in time to save you." Lavi spoke softly with noticeable sobs in between lines.

He slowly let go, making the space between them widen, just to catch a glimpse of Lenalee's puzzled face, and said with sincere apologies, "Will you forgive me?"

"I don't understand. What wrong did you do? How are you related to me? Please... tell me, I need to know!" Lenalee asked desperately while grabbing on to Lavi's shirt, as he is the only hope that she can regain her lost memory from.

Lavi looked away nervously from Lenalee's gaze which were fixed on him, and hesitated whether to break the truth to her.

"Maybe... I should tell you slowly next time, I'll call the doctor in first, okay?" he decided to stall for time before Komui comes back to visit Lenalee as well as save him from the unfavorable circumstances.

The doctor arrived and performed a brief checkup on Lenalee, and invited Lavi out to explain her current condition.

They closed the door behind them, and Lavi asked with a look of concern, "Doctor, what's wrong with Lenalee, she doesn't seem to remember anyone else other than her brother."

The doctor replied with a sigh and explained the theory behind her slight amnesia, "The accident did not cause severe physical injuries, so she is still able to move around freely under the care of someone. However, her brain suffered quite a hard blow, thus causing the concussion and signs of amnesia. But do not worry; I believe she will be able to obtain a speedy recovery with the help of all her friends."

Lavi thanked the doctor and made his way back into the ward. Right after he took a step in, Lenalee continued to demand an explanation from him to clarify her doubts regarding her memory. Lavi tried ways and means to avoid Lenalee's interrogation, by talking about other topics such as what she likes to eat.

This did not work, of course, and Lenalee went, "Stop digressing! Why...why can't you tell me now?" Lenalee begged him as she looked intently at his left eye, which was uncovered by any patch. "I can tell that you are a good person and you won't do anything to harm me, so please..."

Lenalee was cut off by Lavi blurting out, "That...that is because I have no wish to hurt you another time!" He realized that he could not bring himself to face her any longer, and ran out of the ward, in an attempt to escape from the harsh reality of what happened to his friend.

Could they even friends again, after Lavi left Lenalee all alone in the ward, with only the company of four walls around? She lay on the bed weeping, feeling lonely as she yearned for her dear brother, and a special someone that she could share her burden with. She tried to figure out and bring back her memory, and her ability to recognize faces that were once familiar to her. What if someone whom she ought to know came up to her, and she is unable to react since she doesn't have the slightest memory of anyone? She felt frightened and insecure, wondering the type of life she had led for 15 years.

There was only one way to resolve the problem and calm her insecurities now, that is, to take action herself by setting off to find her only kin – Komui, to unravel the mystery behind her lost memory.

Lavi had run out of the hospital back to the comfort of his home, settling down on his bed with his hands behind his head. Something seemed to strike him as he took out from underneath his pillow a couple of photographs. He sat up to think of what happened last time. Those pictures were actually of him and Allen usually playing and having fun together, since they were the best of friends. Apparently, Lavi had picked up these photos which Lenalee had dropped from her books last time. Having a closer look this time, he noticed that the focus of these pictures were of him, not Allen.

"I should have realized earlier that Lenalee has a crush on me, and not Allen. If I had known, I would have made it clear to her that I like Chomesuke, so that she would not place any hopes on me, and that could have well prevented this misfortunate accident to occur... It's my entire fault..." Lavi muttered repentantly, his hands clutching his red spiky hair.

He took off his green headband and threw it on the bed, casting it aside for the first time. He stormed out of his house deciding to explain the entire truth to Lenalee, and also to apologize for his rude and rash actions earlier on.

Lavi reached Lenalee's ward, and this time without any hesitation, he turned the doorknob and stepped in immediately bowing, "I'm sorry Lenalee, for my impulsiveness just now." He looked up slowly, just to discover that the bed was empty with the untidy sheets.

Anxiety and worry overcame him, and he dashed out of the ward, running frantically along the never-ending long corridors of the large hospital. He had no idea where he was running to, as his legs seemed to move on their own, with just the intention of finding where Lenalee had disappeared to.

Ignoring the fact that whether the nurse was attractive or not, Lavi came across one holding a medicinal tray. He went up to her to ask her if she knew the whereabouts of Lenalee, keeping his mind focused on finding her.

"Oh, the girl with two long ponytails at the sides? I heard that she ran away, and the other doctors and nurses are still currently searching for her." The nurse replied sweetly to the charming red-haired guy in front of her, with her eyes blinking with hearts seductively.

"Thanks." Lavi simply replied and dashed off, in continuing his search for Lenalee.

"Oh... my... he thanked me! I'm... I'm fainting... Love has finally knocked on my door!" The nurse still dazing at the shadows of her dream-guy slowly fade away in to the background.

Lavi knew that he alone searching for Lenalee would not help much. He contacted Komui to inform him about the disappearance of his sister, and was rewarded with a long and distressing lecture. After, Lavi continued to run to where his legs took him, and searched aimlessly for Lenalee. Komui at the same time contacted Allen and the others to join in the search. He gathered them to his science laboratory to give them instructions, as he was unable to leave the lab.

They were soon gathered together. Komui told them about Lenalee's situation and dispatched them in pairs to set off for the mission.

The mission was titled: The Rescue of Lenalee.

Pairs: Krory and Miranda – Gardens (Komui predicted it as Lenalee loved flowers since young, and would often spend her time doing her homework there). Allen and Kanda – Playgrounds (The place where Komui would always bring Lenalee to play in the sandbox, and sit on the swing.)

"Bean Sprout...!" Kanda said with a look of discontent, and Allen too pouted his lips saying, "My name is Allen! You muddle-head!" The both stared at each other and together reading, "Why must I pair up with this guy!" Although the two of them hang out in the same group, they still could not see eye to eye with each other.

Krory and Miranda just giggled at the childishness of Allen and Kanda, and set off to their destination. Allen and Kanda too, set off finally, as they were both worried about their friend, Lenalee.

"Where could Lenalee have gone?" Lavi asked himself anxiously, drenched in sweat from the entire running process.

He continued to search for Lenalee, but to no avail. He looked for her at the school, thinking that she might have gone there when she remembers some of her friends. He went to the canteen, recollecting the moments of them eating happily together, laughing about funny happenings in class, and teasing one another. He pictured Kanda and Allen fighting once again, and he and Lenalee were always the ones trying to separate the two of them, and telling them to stop arguing. Those fond memories touched his heart, and he vowed to treasure the friendship between them the next time Lenalee was back with her old self.

Krory and Miranda went to almost all the gardens already, but they still could not spot the sight of Lenalee anywhere. Once the both of them thought of how well Lenalee had treated them, and encouraged them when they did badly in a task, tears started swelling up in their eyes, finally flowing down their cheeks when they could not hold it anymore.

Lenalee was in fact at the playground, reminiscing about her childhood days that she spent with Komui. She had no idea where her brother was working, and so decided to wait for him at the playground, hoping that he would arrive to save her from the agony of having serious doubts about her identity. There were a few children playing on the swings with their friends happily, and she began to wonder who her friends were, and how did they spend their time together? She asked herself, did we play pranks on one another and laughed together, or were quarrels frequent daily? She felt disheartened, as time slowly leaked past, and the sun came down at an angle which was slowly decreasing without her notice. Will Komui appear? Will anyone come to her rescue before the sun sets and the lonesome night cover all entries of light?

Kanda and Allen still had quite many playgrounds to go to, as they spent their time mainly quarrelling regarding which area to go to first. They also came to the point of thinking of going separate ways. But whenever they think of what is happening to Lenalee, they get motivated to stay together and persevere on to search for her.

The sun is now just beyond the horizon of the skies, and it would soon disappear in to the darkness of the night. Will they be able to rescue Lenalee in time, considering the fact that she remembers no one? Even If they do find her, how will she react to them? She might just be frightened once again, and run away, trying to escape from reality... and closing all doors of communication...

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A/N: To be continued... Review if you want the next chapter!


	3. Friends

Disclaimer: D. Gray Man is not mine. Though I would gladly eat only fruits and vegetables for a week just for D. Gray Man…dipped in chocolate!

**Hajimari's A/N**: Sorry for the late update! My computer broke down and there were exams, with some more on the way. So anyway, hope you'll enjoy it!

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**_Chapter 3: Friends_**

Lavi didn't know why he came to the playground. Weren't the playgrounds Allen and Kanda's searching grounds? He shook off that thought; as long as it was for the sake of finding Lenalee, nothing else matters. With a hopeful heart, he entered the playground. It was empty and silent, presumably, every child and parent had returned home to have dinner in their cozy house.

He turned around; ready to leave when he heard the high-pitched noise made by the metal hinges of a swing. Someone was definitely here. Could it be Lenalee? He walked quickly to the swings, his heart thumping with hope.

There she was. Her elegant figure bathed in moonlight, and her face streaked with shiny tears. "Lenalee," Lavi called her softly, filled with relief and slight guilt.

Lenalee jolted at the sound of her name and immediately turned to Lavi. Her eyes widened when she recognized that it was the boy who she first saw in her awakening. She stood up from the swing abruptly, and the chains of the swing rattled noisily.

"You…" Lenalee started with a shaky voice. Lavi saw confusion on her face, mingled with the sadness of her tears. The red-haired boy expected her to demand answers about everything and maybe a soft slap, but his presumption was wrong.

He was shocked when Lenalee approached him quickly than he could respond to and buried herself in his chest. Lavi took a second to register this and he wrapped his arms around her in return, patting her back softly in attempts to comfort her.

"I don't know anything anymore!" Lenalee shouted, but the voice was slightly muffled when she pressed herself onto his chest. "I don't remember anything, not even my friends! I only remember onii-chan!" She exploded into tears and cried loudly like a lost child.

Slowly, her crying subsided into small sobs. When Lenalee calmed down completely, she separated herself from Lavi but held onto his arms. She looked up at him with pleading and hopeful eyes and said softly, "You know me, right? So please, tell me everything about myself." Beads of tears started sliding past her cheeks. "Please." She repeated with a helpless tone.

Lavi stared at her and nodded. "Of course, Lenalee. Of course," He assured her, patting her back again.

"Thank you." Lenalee's voice gushed with gratefulness. "Thank you very much."

"Now, let's go back to the hospital, shall we?" Lavi said in a kind voice. "Komui and everyone are worried for you." He took off his black coat and placed it over Lenalee's shivering body, shielding the cold that was biting on her skin.

Lenalee thanked Lavi for the coat, and they walked back to the hospital as it was only a short distance.

"Um…" Lenalee started and turned to Lavi, who was looking at her expectantly. "What is your name?"

"Lavi." The red-haired boy answered her, feeling rather saddened and weird by the fact that she doesn't even remember his name.

"And," Lenalee said slowly and a bit hesitantly, "Who are you to me?"

Lavi stared at the green-haired girl with slightly wide eyes at that question. "A friend," Lavi answered hurriedly, "Just a very best friend of yours."

Lenalee smiled slightly and gave an understanding nod. They resumed walking in the peaceful moonlit night, but Lavi could no longer feel the initial calmness. His mind was suddenly in turmoil and his heart beat quickly. He didn't understand; he shouldn't be having the usual symptoms of being in love. Not that he wasn't not in love, but the person would have been Chomesuke, not Lenalee.

Why was he unsure of his status in Lenalee's life? He was a friend, a best friend, only that and nothing else. _I'm Lenalee's best friend_, Lavi decided determinedly. He glanced at Lenalee several times, and there was a smothering feeling inside him that he failed to decipher. He managed to shake that nagging feeling away and took out his handphone to text everyone: _I've found Lenalee. Let's meet back at the hospital._

When they reached the hospital, everyone was present. Allen and Kanda wore sulky faces, which clearly showed the two's displeasure of each another. Miranda and Krory had worried expressions, and Komui's face had a mixture of seriousness and worry as well. However, all those expressions were replaced by relief and joy (especially Komui) when they saw Lenalee, all healthy and well, save for the amnesia.

"LENALEE!" Komui exclaimed loudly in elation at the sight of his sister.

"Onii-chan." Lenalee said with a sweat-drop. Despite of her brother's obsessing behavior, Lenalee remained calm, and the others marveled at her usual insouciance.

"You're not hurt, are you, Lenalee?" Komui asked with way too much concern. "Do you have a scratch? Are you hungry? Are you cold? It is really cold at night and you're wearing so little…" He trailed off and eyed the black coat around Lenalee, and looked suspiciously at Lavi, who merely raised an eyebrow.

"LAVI, HOW COULD YOU?!" Komui exclaimed angrily and pointed accusingly at the confused red-haired boy.

"Hey, what did I do?" Lavi countered and looked at his friends for help, only to see them staring at him as well.

"This coat," Komui continued with an ascending volume, "IS YOURS! CONFESS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO LENALEE?!"

"I just gave her the coat because…" Lavi wanted to explain but Lenalee intervened, "Onii-chan, can you buy for me Chinese noodles? I'm hungry." Without a moment's haste, Komui raced out of the hospital while shouting audibly, "I'LL GET YOUR CHINESE NOODLES, LENALEE!" Eventually, Komui's figure disappeared from sight and Lenalee told Lavi with a smile, "I'm sorry. Onii-chan is always like that. He doesn't really reason when he enters obsessing-over-his-sister mode." She joked.

"I know." Lavi chuckled and nodded with understanding, "Thanks for your help. If you didn't step in, I'll bet I'll be at Komui's feet by now."

Lenalee giggled and suddenly became aware of the four people standing around her. She hesitated greeting them, for fear of embarrassing herself if they do not know her in actual fact. She tugged Lavi's shirt, frowning slightly.

"Don't worry, Lenalee." The red-haired boy said with assurance. "They're your friends in school, although I wouldn't be surprised if you forgotten them."

"I see." Lenalee muttered. Facing Allen and the others, she gave a polite bow and greeted, "Nice to meet you, I'm Lenalee Lee."

"Lenalee, we know who you are already." Allen said with a sweat-drop.

"Oh, right. I'm so sorry! I just thought that I could start off with friendly introductions." Lenalee fretted momentarily.

"Moyashi, stop putting Lenalee in a tight spot." Kanda scolded, his eyes gleaming with the usual hate for the white-haired boy. Immediately, the two engaged in a staring competition that was emitting with dark auras and intensity.

"Is it okay to leave them like this?" Lenalee asked doubtfully as they looked on.

"No problem," Miranda spoke up, "They're always like that. You used to stop them and somehow, they'll just obediently listen."

"Okay guys," Lavi began to come in between Kanda and Allen, shoving the two of them apart. "Break it up." They relented to Lavi's advice, but not without a final 'humph' at each other.

"Anyway, let's start with introductions." Lavi said good-willingly. His suggestion was greatly influential, for all the bad auras Kanda and Allen had been emitting disappeared and Miranda and Krory got themselves known.

Lenalee was rather surprised that she had such good friends. Miranda and Krory were extremely supportive about her situation and told her not to hesitate to inquire about anything. Lenalee found Allen amicable and she always felt that there was a peaceful aura around him. She smiled at his friendliness and was able to feel assured around him. Kanda was a completely different story. At first, Lenalee felt uneasy around the intimidating blue-haired boy, but gradually enjoyed his presence as a friend when she sensed no ill-intentions.

Eventually, they returned to Lenalee's single ward. Komui insisted that nothing was too good for his dear sister. The six friends chatted, and Lenalee was glad to have such great friends. She was informed of their days before her amnesia, how they used to go to the beach for their summer vacation and the days they went out together during holidays.

Suddenly, there was a loud slam of the door and everyone turned to look at the new arrival. Not surprisingly, it was Komui, and the others resumed their hearty chatting after greeting him with a half-hearted 'hi' and then ignored the obsessive-protective brother of Lenalee's.

Apparently, he didn't seem to mind, for all he minded was Lenalee and he expressed his happiness by making a beeline to Lenalee, flowers and sparkles decorated his background as he said, "Lenalee, I bought your Chinese noodles!"

Lenalee smiled politely and received the takeaway from her brother, who was gushing on about how he was so lucky to have a beautiful sister like Lenalee. Everyone skillfully ignored his annoying and alterable side as if they were already being used to it.

After a while, the nurse entered and told everyone to leave as visiting hours were over. Komui was reluctant, and so were the others. "Don't worry," Lenalee had said with a small but bright smile. "I'll be fine."

After much persuasion from Lenalee and many spine-tingling glares from the nurse, every one of them left, including Komui. The green-haired girl waved to them as they exited the room. They parted ways at the entrance of the hospital as they lived at different parts of the town.

Lavi strolled to the train station, feeling the cold wind bite on his skin. Feeling the especial coldness of the night, Lavi was reminded of his black coat, which he had accidentally left it with Lenalee.

He sighed to himself for the trouble. Not only that, he had wasted precious time to get back to the comforts of his home where his soft bed and fluffy pillows were waiting for him. He sighed again and gave in to fate or whatever that made him leave behind his coat.

When he returned to the hospital, all the lights have been dimmed by a small degree, although the dimming was apparent. His padded footsteps sounded softly along the lonely corridor as he made a beeline to Lenalee's ward. He had expected the green-haired girl to be asleep, but a light shining from the room through half-closed curtains proved him wrong.

"Lenalee." He called the girl softly as he entered the ward. Lenalee was clearly shocked, as she jolted at his voice. She stared at him and asked, "I thought you went home."

"I left my coat here." Lavi responded, pointing at the coat which was hung on the coat hanger at the door. Lenalee muttered an apology which Lavi waved it off, thinking that it was a trivial matter.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Lavi asked with concern. "You must be tired from everything that had happened."

"I…" Lenalee trailed off, looking at the photographs of her, Allen and everyone in her hands with a frown. "Everyone has been so friendly but I really don't remember." She sobbed silently and Lavi noticed her tears.

"Lenalee, it's alright." He comforted her gently, placing an assuring hand on her shoulder. "You'll remember eventually. And even if you don't, Lenalee is Lenalee. We like you just as the way you are, as you."

Lenalee smiled, but at the same time, there were joyful tears streaming down her cheeks. Lavi backed away slightly, not knowing if he had aggravated her sadness or comforted her.

"Lenalee!" He exclaimed nervously. "I'm sorry for what I said but those words were true! Please…please don't cry."

"Baka." Lenalee giggled through tears and dried them with the sleeve of her oversized hospital shirt. "I'm just really glad, that's all. But still..."

Suddenly, Lenalee felt herself being pulled towards Lavi's warm and lovely embrace. She was surprised and shocked at first, but she smiled later, taking in the scent of Lavi's usual cologne. It felt so assuring to be with him. It was all like a fairytale and maybe a hint of Shakespeare's Midsummer Night Dream, when Titania woke to fall in love with a hideous ass, only that the ass was not an ass but a rather charming Lavi.

Suddenly, she felt Lavi pulling away and turned around to avoid looking at her straight in the face. "Lavi?" Lenalee said with a confused voice. A shameless thought went through her mind for wanting Lavi to wrap his arms around her a tad longer, but she managed to slap herself out of that impossible thought.

She saw Lavi snatching his coat from coat hanger and said with an obvious sense of urgency and embarrassment, "I'll…I'll be leaving now. Rest early."

Without a chance for Lenalee to bid him goodbye, he shut the door behind abruptly but softly. He took big strides towards the exit of the hospital which eventually led him to the short path to the train station. As he walked, his quick strides were replaced by relaxed steps with a moderate pace.

What had he been thinking, suddenly hugging Lenalee like that? He blushed even as he recalled the scene and worried what Lenalee might think. Technically, she had only known him today.

_Oh great, she'll think I'm some pervert or something_, Lavi thought uncertainly to himself. He felt like pulling his hair at the thought of it and regretted so much for his actions earlier. A sudden gentle wind breezed by, and Lavi took off his headband.

"That's right," He muttered to himself and looked at the bright stars that scattered in the dark night sky, "I'm only Lenalee's friend. Best friend. All that I'm doing is just to compensate her for her lost memories. Just that."

But as he walked on, he tried to fight that little voice that warned him,

"_You're starting to have feelings for Lenalee."_

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A/N: Okay, this came out so much boring and cliché as I have not expected. So congrats if you actually made it through this dull and unexciting chapter. Well, hopefully you'll continue to read the next chapter because it'll be by **yinlin56**! So just stay tuned!

Oh, and please, please review. You know how I love your opinions and reassurances.


	4. Thoughts

Disclaimer: D Gray Man belongs to our great lord Katsura Hoshino, so don't kill me for writing this - I'm just a normal fan like everyone!

**yinlin56's A/N**: Here comes chapter 4 by me! Wow, exams are finally over and I'm so happy that I can finally concentrate on my fanfictions and my anime and my songs...

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_**Chapter 4: Thoughts**_

At the school entrance where the tall and majestic iron gates stood, Lavi and the others gathered and made their way up to the long flight of stairs and started their day with their daily leisure chat. They waited patiently for their dearest friend Lenalee, who was just about to embark on the journey of her first day at school since she lost her memory.

A black Jaguar came swerving in round the bends of the foyer, and eventually came to a stop with Komui being gentlemanly enough as to open the door for his precious sister. As Lenalee stepped out of the car, her dark green hair blown by the wind brushed against her fair skin, and a smile materialized on her face, relieved and excited to meet her friends and start her first day of school.

Her friends replied by waving elatedly, and greeted Lenalee warmly by shouting out in unison, "Welcome back to school, Lenalee!"

Warmth and affection touched her heart, as she felt extremely glad at the fact that she had made such wonderful friends in her life, even though she could not remember how.

Meanwhile, without the notice of anyone, Komui crept up behind the red-haired boy, and said quite monotonously into his ears. "Lavi, I shall entrust my dearest sister in your care to show her around the school, but..." his voice ascended suddenly, "I SHALL NOT LET YOU OFF IF YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HER!"

On hearing that threatening request, Lavi could do nothing but relent with a stuttering "Yes... Komui-san" that he hardly formed through his lips.

By the side, the others who escaped from the torture of Komui came down with a sweat drop on their faces, relieved that they were not the chosen one. Komui's expression then immediately changed into a sweet-loving brother after he made his point to Lavi, and bid goodbye to Lenalee with a frantic wave before hurrying off to work.

After the departure of the sister-obsessed brother, the six made their way up to class, with Allen leading Lenalee to her seat which was just right beside him at the second row from the front. The other 4 of the group were seated at the last two rows, and that made Lenalee feel somewhat disappointed and worried how she would cope without Lavi near her, since she felt that he was the most dependable.

Being curious, during mathematics class, Lenalee leaned over to her left, and whispered to Allen, asking him why were they seated at the front while the others were behind.

The white-haired lad them replied embarrassingly covering his mouth to hide from the teacher, "That's because we're shorter..."

That explanation made the girl giggle a little, and Allen laughed too, making Lenalee further assured that he was a nice friend, and a comfortable companion to talk with.

Recess soon came and Lavi brought Lenalee around to familiarize her with the school surroundings, for fear that Komui might offer him a lecture for not abiding by his instructions. Allen and the others went off to the canteen first, and Miranda had volunteered to help Lenalee buy a snack or two, so that she would not get hungry during class.

Gesturing to the Arts Room with the artistic paintings displayed at every corner, Lavi told Lenalee about their usual art classes and the things they did during the lesson. Coincidentally, just as Lavi was talking, they came along meeting Chomesuke.

The cute and bubbly girl with her fancy hairstyle and in-fashion clothes greeted her boyfriend and Lenalee excitedly. But all Lenalee could do was stare blankly at her while tugging at the sleeves of Lavi, earnestly begging for assistance,

Lavi sensed the awkwardness present, and scratched the back of his head a little, saying, "Oh, Lenalee, this is Chomesuke, my girlfriend."

_Lavi has a girlfriend?_

Lenalee then replied with a faint "Hi", so as to not arouse any suspicions on her reaction.

"Lenalee has lost her memory in an accident, so Komui asked me to take care of her while she's at school." He explained to the brown-haired girl.

"Oh, I see. Do you want to come and play a game of badminton after school?" Chomesuke asked the two.

"That sounds good! Do you mind if we also ask Allen and the others along?" Lavi asked, which was agreed naturally.

A bright smile emerged from Chomesuke and she leaned in on Lavi, kissing him lightly on the cheeks. Lenalee turned away to grant them some privacy, and heard the couple bid a sweet goodbye to each other.

After Chomesuke left, Lenalee suggested that they went back to meet up with the rest.

On the way back to class, Krory noticed that she seemed a little lost in her thought, and asked in concern whether something happened. Lenalee denied, but in fact, she knew in deep down in her heart that she felt a little jealous about Chomesuke. She thought that she and Lavi really suit each other, as both were really charming, in terms of both looks or personality.

During history lesson, her mind traced back to last night, when she was in the arms of Lavi, smelling his scent, relaxing in his warm embrace. She then kicked off that thought in her head, and made an attempt to concentrate on the lesson.

_Lavi belongs to Chomesuke..._

She reminded her self several times, and took a peek back where Lavi was sitting, just to realize that his eyes were on her, which was quickly turned away and directed to the window, the split second when their eyes met. She thought to herself,

_Was he looking at me all this while?_

A soft blush then became visible on her cheeks as a tinge of heat caused by embarrassment rushed through her body to her head.

The school bell rang, and everyone got off their seats and rushed out of the classrooms to release their boredom of the non-stop monotonous talking of the history teacher.

The six then made their way to the badminton court, where they saw Chomesuke already waiting there and doing her warm-ups. They then got changed into their attires, and Lavi asked who would want to play first.

Allen, Chomesuke, Lenalee, and himself raised his hands, and so they decided to play in pairs.

Lenalee summoned her courage to ask if she could pair up with Lavi, saying that she was afraid of forgetting the rules. Noticing the presence of his girlfriend, the red-haired boy declined and told her that he was pairing up with Chomesuke, and asked if she could pair up with Allen instead, since he was better at badminton. Lenalee although a little saddened, still accepted, as she also liked Allen for his friendliness.

Getting to their positions, they started the game smoothly.

However, due to poor communication and cooperation, Allen and Lenalee could not play well because whenever the ball came in the middle, either both would try to return it, or both would stay still thinking that the other would hit it. The game then continued in Lavi Chomesuke pair's favor, and they scored quite a few points ahead from Allen and Lenalee.

Another ball came into the middle of Allen and Lenalee's court, and this time, Lenalee was determined not to let them score another point again. Unfortunately, Allen felt likewise, and both clashed against each other. Lenalee's hand was hit by Allen's racket, and she fell down, with her already hurt hand.

Before Allen could even react to care about Lenalee, Lavi became overly anxious, when he dropped his racket immediately and ran across the court to see how Lenalee was doing. He held her hand tightly, and examined it closely, just to find a little cut on the back of her hand.

Still clenching her hand firmly, he asked worriedly, "Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?"

Not wanting to arouse any suspicions from Chomesuke who was beside, Lenalee declined to answer, and loosened Lavi's grip on her hand to stand up independently, asking if Kanda could replace her while she went to the toilet to wash up. Lavi saw Lenalee's figure slowly trailing off into the background, and remained worried about her, guilty that he was the one who caused her to lose her memory in the first place.

Kanda being requested to pair up with Allen shot him a hated stare, "Moyashi! You better play well and not mess with me!"

"Take care of yourself first and don't blame me when you lose!" Allen rebutted, dissatisfied again at Kanda calling him a bean sprout.

They finally managed to break away from their death stares when Miranda said to continue the game. Meanwhile, Lavi was still gazing in the direction Lenalee went to, and constantly looked back there during the game to check if she was back yet.

Finally, Lenalee got back from the washroom, and also got a plaster which she got from the sickbay for her injury on her hand. By that time, Allen and Kanda were already playing against Miranda and Krory since they won the last match, because both were unwilling to admit defeat, and also partly because of the fact that Lavi was distracted by the absence of the dark-haired girl.

Soon after, Komui arrived in his black Jaguar to pick his sister up, and everyone went home his or her separate ways to rest, especially for Lenalee, who had an exhausting first day of school.

On the way home, Lavi stroded along the gray pathways towards his house, thinking about the moment Lenalee got hurt. A voice suddenly crept into his mind,

_Why am I so concerned over Lenalee?_

The next morning, as usual, they met at the entrance of the school, and this helped Lenalee feel more used to her school life. The day passed just like the day before, and after school, Lavi received a phone call.

"LAVI! Is my Lenalee beside you right now? I've got a meeting until late night today, so PLEASE HELP ME TAKE CARE OF LENALEE!" Komui's voice sounded nervous and loud through the phone.

Lavi replied, "Hey, but I've got club activities to..." but was cut off by Komui hanging up.

Lavi turned over to Lenalee who was waiting for her brother, "Lenalee, Komui-san said that he's busy with work so he asked me to take care of you..."

"Er... Okay then, I think I'll just sit by the side when you're having your club activities." She said with her soft and petite voice.

At the court when Lavi was engaging in his training of basketball, Lenalee sat by the bench, waiting for him while reading a book, but actually noticing a bit of his every movement from the corner of her eyes.

The way he aimed and threw the ball with great accuracy, the way he jumped and dunked the ball, the way he wiped his sweat on the forehead using his red jersey, and all the stunts he played while tackling his opponents, all seemed to be displayed with great charisma and appeal.

Those actions of Lavi kept her eyes away from the book in her hands, and made her pay precise attention to his mesmerizing mannerisms. She had never notice how attractive he could be when playing sports, not even when they played a game of badminton that day, perhaps because that wasn't his forte.

But the sight of him playing basketball emitted a strong magnetism from him, which attracted her to think of getting closer to the red-haired guy.

_Lavi already has a girlfriend..._

The reminder ringing in her head sent shivers up her spine, and she immediately turned back to read her book, kicking her previous thoughts of Lavi out of her mind.

After Lavi's training, they headed back home together, slowly strolling along the streets with the streetlamps which lightened up the dimming evening sky and the setting orange sun over the horizon.

Abruptly, a ringing sound came out from Lavi's pocket, and he reached for the phone buried inside to answer it.

"Lavi! Have you finished your club activities? Want to meet out for dinner?" Chomesuke squeaked once again with her energetic and cheerful voice.

He paused to look over to his right and glanced at Lenalee,

He thought,

_Chomesuke or Lenalee?_

After a long pause, he chose the latter before moving to a corner to answer his call where Lenalee would not be able to hear.

Not wanting Chomesuke to misunderstand the relationship between Lenalee and him, he chose to tell a white lie, which he had never expected to be the root of a disaster.

"Maybe next time, I'm still in the middle of training, so be careful on you way home, okay?" He replied and hung up the phone, and returned back to walk Lenalee home.

On the other hand, Chomesuke who was walking home too with her friend beside her carried on chatting despite being a little disappointed with Lavi who was not able to turn up for the date.

A nudge from her friend soon came when they had walked down a few more streets, nearing their homes. Chomesuke realized what her friend was implicating at. Her eyes drew their attention to Lavi and Lenalee far away, who were strolling home, just like her.

"I thought he said that he was still at club activities?" her friend asked concernedly.

She stood still, unable to react at the sight in front of her, which she never predicted to happen.

_He... He lied to me?_

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A/N: Please review! Oh, and I'm leaving for Korea on Tuesday, but don't worry, this story is still accessible since the next chapter would be written by Hajimari. Look forward to it!


	5. Contradiction

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

**Hajimari's A/N**: Hello, everyone! It's me again! Anyway, to all those who read the previous chapter and reviewed, thank you. Here's chapter 5 for you. Enjoy!

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_**Chapter 5: Contradiction**_

The house was quiet, but the silence was soon broken by soft padded footsteps of two teenagers. Lavi stepped into the house after Lenalee, knowing that it was only propriety.

"I'll go upstairs to clean up. After that, we can have dinner and study together." Lenalee said cheerfully. Lavi nodded and the green-haired girl made her way up to her room.

Lavi sat on the couch and placed his bag at the side. He was glad for seeing Lenalee so cheerful now. He had noticed that she hadn't been too joyful in school, and was hesitant to ask just in case it was something grouped under 'Lenalee's private affairs'.

Lavi decided to have a drink and opened the fridge. It wasn't his first time in the Lee's residence, for in the past, there had been plenty of times when he and the others came over to have fun or study. He knew Lenalee's favourite beverage was apple juice and he poured a glass for her while having coke himself.

A while later, there were new soft thumping of footsteps and Lavi knew that Lenalee was done with cleaning. He smiled to himself at that thought; Lenalee was always conscious of the cleanliness of her room, especially when there are visitors and she didn't want to embarrass herself just because of a room.

"Lavi, what are you doing?!" Lenalee exclaimed when she entered the kitchen and saw her red-haired friend.

"Serving drinks?" Lavi replied matter-of-factly and looked confusingly at Lenalee. Then when he looked at her longer, he noticed that she had changed to a new set of home clothes, the usual combination of shirt and shorts.

"No, it's not right for a visitor to serve drinks." Lenalee said hurriedly. She pushed Lavi gently out of the kitchen. "I should be doing that."

"It is fine, Lenalee." Lavi protested and insisted that he can help with the snacks and all.

"It's not polite for a guest to do those." The green-haired girl told him. After moments of protesting and insistence, Lavi decided to listen to Lenalee. After all, she was trained to adhere to proprieties, just like what her parents taught her. The habit was cultivated from years and it was hard to break from it, especially since Lenalee was kind and gentle and, well, basically nice.

Lavi sat on the living room, where he was flipping through channels by a press of the buttons on the remote control. Finding nothing interesting on the television, he switched it off and began thinking about Chomesuke. He was still wondering whether he should feel guilty towards lying to his yellow-haired girlfriend. Sure, it was a little white lie, but being the good-natured person like Lavi, he couldn't help but felt that he should explain things to her.

While Lavi was still thinking about that matter, Lenalee arrived into the living with a tray of cookies and the glasses of drinks. He thanked her as she placed the tray on the coffee table a short distance away from the couch. Almost immediately, Lavi reached for a cookie and ate it with satisfaction.

Lenalee sat next to him in silence and glanced at Lavi devouring the cookies happily. Allen was certainly not joking when he said that the red-haired boy was a glutton.

"Eh?" Lavi turned to see Lenalee looking at him with a smile. Suddenly remembering his gluttony, he quickly put back the cookie he was holding onto. "Sorry," He apologized with a silly grin on his face. "I didn't mean to be so rude."

"No, no." Lenalee quickly said, the smile on her face disappeared and an anxious expression surfaced. "It's not that. Eat all you want. There's plenty more."

"I'm not being rude, am I?" Lavi asked and Lenalee shook her head in response. After confirming that the green-haired girl didn't mind, Lavi reached out for another cookie while Lenalee looked wistfully at him again. It reminded her of those movies where she was the girl who couldn't get the boy she liked, which was probably true in this case. It was sad, but then, most of the time, the truth hurts.

Lenalee was in her own thoughts when suddenly, she felt a finger wiping across her eyes. She looked up and saw that it was Lavi who was wiping what she felt like tears on her eyes. And then, she realized they were tears, she just hasn't notice.

"I…I'm sorry." Lenalee quickly said and took a tissue from the tissue box at the side of the couch. She saw Lavi's hand retreat and had immediately hope that she carry on with the ignorance of not knowing she was crying.

She didn't know how the tears came. Maybe she did, but she saw two possibilities: one from not remembering anything about her life except her brother, and two, the realization that Lavi has a girlfriend. The first theory was plausible, but Lenalee knew not to lie to herself. She also knew the second was more than possible, but she didn't want to face the truth. Such is the contradiction.

Lenalee felt Lavi's eyes on her while she wiped away her tears. She was embarrassed for crying so suddenly and wondered what Lavi thought of it. He didn't ask, not yet.

"Have you calmed down?" Lavi asked, placing a firm hand on her shoulder and shook her encouragingly.

Lenalee nodded and threw the tissue into the bin. Why wasn't Lavi asking her why she had so suddenly cried? Didn't he think it was something to do with him? Isn't he concerned about her? She felt tears welling up again but she pulled them back. Awkward silence hung in the air and Lenalee decided to smile to assure Lavi that she was alright. "I'm fine." She said, and was glad that the red-haired boy smiled as well.

"Let's study now." Lenalee said, grinning sheepishly, hoping that they could do something together. Lavi, although unwilling, was persuaded by her and her reasons, which he personally thought was too cliché but went ahead with them anyway.

Two hours of study session flew by and it was already seven. The two of them decided to have dinner and after ransacking the refrigerator, they settled for curry rice, seeing that all ingredients were present. Again, Lenalee fought for the right to cook, leaving Lavi defenseless with no points to rise. However, he was allowed to lay the table.

Half an hour later, dinner was served. They ate in silence with no electronic devices switched on to disturb the silence, save for the air-conditioner.

Lenalee was getting restless, playing with the plate of curry rice with her spoon. She wanted Lavi to ask her why she cried. She wanted him to be concerned and she wanted to know if he was.

"Aren't you going to ask why I cried?" Lenalee said suddenly, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Just as those words came out, the green-haired girl wanted to retract them, shocked at how she even managed to voice them.

"I didn't think you want me to." Lavi expressed his astonishment. Then with a soft expression, he continued, "Besides, it's about your memory, isn't it?"

"Ye…yes." Lenalee lied. "It is."

"I knew it." Lavi replied. "Anyway, eat your food. It'll go cold soon."

Lenalee nodded and ate a spoonful of rice and curry. She didn't know whether to be sad or happy. She was lying through her teeth. She didn't want to tell him that he was wrong; she wanted him to ask her what was wrong so that her answer will be…she didn't know what it will be, except that lie again.

After dinner, they rewarded themselves for the study session with a movie that was shown on one of the channels. It was about a woman who was in love with a man beyond her league and coincidentally, they spent their vacation at the same resort. Despite knowing that the man had a girlfriend back at their own country, she tries to get her feelings across to him and she has two weeks to do so.

Lavi had wanted to change channel after reading the plotline of the movie. He wasn't a person for romantic movies but Lenalee had stopped him, insisting that she wanted to watch the movie. And what's stopping Lavi from disagreeing? Nothing. It was his job to "baby-sit" her, his responsibility.

The green-haired girl had wanted to watch the movie as the plotline sounded like the dilemma she is in right now; loving an attached guy. The movie was interesting to Lenalee, but to Lavi, it was another study session, as boring as facing a blank wall for a hundred hours. Again, he wondered what had let him go ahead with Lenalee. He could have proposed another movie in a persuasive manner but the thing was that he didn't. However, it was very odd that the red-haired boy had found her smile when he relented to her request rewarding, as if he had destroyed an army of evil invaders.

The movie ended at around nine-thirty and Lenalee was so touched by the ending, in which the woman marries that man she loves. There they were, happy endings. If only that could be done to the reality, Lenalee thought. She thought that the movie was sort of a guilty pleasure if it really linked up to the real life, because that would mean Chomesuke would be hurt in the end.

She stopped herself. She didn't want to think about the life she will have with Lavi as lovers because that would mean she was deluding herself. And at the end of it all, she knew, would be a great disappointment when she finds out that it wasn't real. The fall was great even with the present situation, and she didn't want a greater fall from the delusion.

Suddenly, she felt something heavy from the side and realized that Lavi was leaning against her. She blushed and immediately turned fully to him, ready to tell him off only to realize that his eyes were closed. He was sleeping. He had been dozing off during the movie but now he was fast asleep.

Lenalee wanted to wake him up but when she examined him closer, she didn't have the heart to. Now that she saw him this up close, his features seemed so much more handsome. Thinking back, she never really looked closely at Lavi to notice his charm. Sure, she knew he was handsome, but now, she really thinks that he is charming. Lenalee didn't know the difference between charm and handsome, but somehow, to her, the distinction just exist.

She cupped his face with her soft hands and looked at every inch of his face. She didn't have the correct words to describe his face and could only marvel them. She softly smooths his gravity-defying hair and traced his face softly with her delicate fingers.

Lenalee didn't know any other words than 'violating' to describe her actions towards the innocent-looking red-haired boy sleeping quite soundly. But that word seems wrong for some reason. It wasn't violating for her actions were soft and gentle, full of love that none could see. She knew the meaning of 'violating', word for word from the dictionary.

Her face was close to Lavi's now, and she could feel his steady warm breath on her face. She wanted to kiss him, to see what it was like. She knew it was immoral of her to have such thoughts, but he was too magnetic to let her realize her mistake. Maybe she did notice her mistake, but she didn't want to rectify it. Just like how she knew she has a chance now to back away from Lavi before he wakes up but she didn't want to.

Suddenly, his eyes fluttered opened and Lenalee quickly retreated, shocked for his sudden waking. "Le…Lenalee." Lavi said her name in a stunned voice.

"I…er…" Lenalee stammered, not knowing what to say. He must have seen her and felt her doing all those…things. At a loss of what to do, she grabbed her bag and said, "I'll be going home now." She headed for the door and went down onto the street with Lavi looking at her retreating figure confusingly.

"Lenalee!" Lavi called her and he saw her suddenly turning back. She walked back quickly with her head down, not looking up at Lavi. "I forgot this is my house." The green-haired girl said with embarrassment and Lavi tried hard not to chuckle.

The red-haired boy took his bag and was ready to leave. When he was at the doorway, he could still feel Lenalee's eyes on him and thus decided to bid her goodbye. But just as he turned and wave, he heard the girl shouting 'goodnight' loudly and shut the door with a big and harsh slam. Lavi shrugged to himself and continue to walk to the bus-stop.

Admittedly, he knew he had felt somebody's hand on his face and his hair while he was asleep. In his dreams then, he saw Chomesuke, stroking his hair and his face in the shade of a tree in a plain green field. And when he woke up, he could only see Lenalee. He was shocked and surprised, and had tried to treat everything as if it hadn't happened so that Lenalee wouldn't be awkward as well. However, apparently, Lenalee had thought very differently from Lavi and had "chased" him out of the house immediately.

Now as he thought about it, he was pretty embarrassed, especially since Lenalee was his friend and her "guardian" in school. How are they going to face each other the next day? He probably could by ignoring what had happened, but can Lenalee? The answer seemed like an obvious no.

But he had to admit to himself, no matter how corrupted the truth was, that the moment when Lenalee had placed her hands on his face, it felt nice.

And he noticed Lenalee has softer hands than Chomesuke.

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A/N: Oh shoot! I make this chapter sound like a chunk from an M-rated fan fiction, although it isn't, of course. Hope you guys didn't imagine things back there and survived until the end, aka, this ending author's note (or else you won't be reading this). This is the longest chapter I've ever written! Hope you have enjoyed it! Review please!


	6. Regret

**Disclaimer:** D Gray Man is not mine.

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait...

_**Chapter 6: Regret**_

Next day back at school, Lenalee was still experiencing the after-effects of attempting to sneak a kiss from Lavi while he was sleeping. Her head felt dizzy and her heart raced anxiously when the red-haired guy's eyes fell upon hers. Flashbacks of his face visualized in her mind, and the feeling of his breath seemed to touch her delicate features. Sure enough, Lavi also had the exact same sentiments. He remembered the touch on his face, but was unsure whether it was just one of his occasional 'miss you' dreams of Chomesuke, or was it really the touch of soft and gentle hands belonging to Lenalee.

Awkwardness roamed the recess table, where Lavi and Lenalee were seated opposite each other, while the others were still taking their time to buy their food. At last, Lenalee broke the silence by prompting an idea for an outing after school. She had always longed for an outing with her friends, since she had no remembrance of the past because of her memory lost after the accident.

"Then, Lenalee-chan, do you have any place that you want to go?" Lavi asked the girl, a little excitedly at the fun he expected they could have.

"Erm... I was thinking of going to Tokyo Disneyland, and we can spend one night there if we can. It's been a long time since I've taken rides."

"Ehh, sugoi!" Allen said excitedly when he arrived with his plate, "I've never been to Disneyland before, Master always refused to bring me along when he went along with his girlfriends..." while bowing his head down once again, remembering Master Cross's treatment to him.

"Hai, then let's go together today shall we, since there's no school tomorrow." Lavi asked the others, Kanda, Miranda, and Krory.

They all agreed, even the stern-faced Kanda who disliked outdoor trips, after considering that he might do it as a favor to Lenalee who missed going out together as a group. They then went back to their classes after finishing their food.

Going home to pack the bags for a night's stay at Disneyland, they all went home first before coming to meet out at the train station. They made their way to their destination, and took their seats in the train. Lavi proposed to take a photo together, as a memory of traveling as a group. They did, when they flashed their happiest smile, except for Kanda, who always wore his usual hate stare. They had asked a passenger in the same train to help them take the photo.

Just as they were getting ready to pose for the photo, Lenalee felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She turned to her right, just to realize that Lavi was the cause of the tingling sensation down her spine. Her cheeks blushed against the flashlight of the camera, but she still maintained her smile, with her heart beating a little fast. Finally, the photo was taken, and the skin contact parted. Relieved, Lenalee's heart, mind and soul calmed down.

Upon reaching Disneyland, they bought their tickets and were ready to begin their fun. They decided to try the roller coaster first, since the guys loved excitement. Making their to the Roller Coaster station, they noticed that it turns one round up in the air! Seeing how fast the ride was, and hearing the terrified screams of those on the ride, Lenalee and Miranda were gradually feeling the spooks.

"Alright, so Miranda-san will pair with Kro-chan, Allen-kun will pair up with Yu, and I will pair with Lenalee, is that alright?" Lavi asked everyone.

Kanda immediately snapped, "Stop calling me Yu, or I shall cut off all your fake-ish red hair! And no way am I going to seat with Moyashi! He's so gonna burst my ears with his cowardly screams!"

"I have a name! Who wants to pair up with you anyway? Your blue girly hair might fly onto my face later on!"

That was how the quarrel started, and proceeding into a brawl where they tugged at the collars and colored hairs of each other. Lenalee had no choice but to come in between to settle the fight.

"Hey, stop fighting, I will pair up with Allen-kun, how's that?" Lenalee relented to make herself a sacrifice of those two.

The two said unfriendly in unity, "That's better!" and walked away to the queue.

Lenalee turned back and gestured the others to come along, but also at the same time noticed some kind of uneasiness in Lavi's expression. _Could he have noticed that I was avoiding him on purpose?_ She thought in her mind. His facial features were tensed up, his brow frowning inwards a little.

Getting ready on the roller coaster, fastened their seatbelts carefully, for fear that they may get thrown off the ride halfway. The ride going to start soon, and Lenalee shut her eyes when the vehicle carrying her sped off at a terribly fast speed.

She had to hold on to something. And the only thing available nearby was a hand beside her. The hand belonged to Allen, the reddish brown hand with a cross on it. She held on to the hand, and shut her eyes deeply, attempting to shake off the exhilarating fear that drove her up the peak and preparing to crash down. the face of someone appeared in her mind and infront of her shut eyes. The skin was fair, the features were beautiful, save for the unseen right eye which was hidden behind the black eyepatch. A green headband held the red srands of hair to be spiked up, and those mesmerizing and thoughtful eyes came closer, the smile giving its ultimate friendliness.

She knew who that was, for the descriptions fitted Lavi exactly. But the reason why she thought of him was definitely incomprehensible, when the hand she was was holding belonged to Allen, and not Lavi, who had been in her mind throughout the ride.

The roller coaster came to a screeching stop, and the white-haired guy gently shook the shoulders of the girl whose eyes were shut beside him, asking Lenalee to let go of his hand. Sense awoke the girl, and she released the sweaty hands that she had clenched on so tightly to, and stood up to get off the seat.

A fierce and merciless voice appeared at the gate of the exit, "I shouldn't have sat with you either!" the blue-haired samurai snapped while folding his arms across his chest childishly.

"Heheh... I'm sorry, I just couldn't help trying to braid your long hair during the ride!" Lavi said jokingly, with his usual cheerful mode.

At last, Lenalee was there again to break up all fights. They were separated from each other and they proceeded on to another ride. It was then decided to sit the artificial Hot-Air Balloon ride above the theme park, so that they could observe the surroundings and see other exciting rides around.

As they queued, they went in the small cable basket that was ready to tour the entire theme park. However, Lavi and Lenalee who were the last two were stopped by the person in charge of the rides. He explained to them that the ride was available to only 4 persons per cable. Therefore, Lavi and Lenalee had no choice but to settle for the next hot-air balloon, right after their four friends.

They sat in the next cable, and awkardness filled the air they breathed. Silence was obviously present, and when the two just offered glances at each other, they would turn away in embarassment. Lavi was at a lost for words. And so was Lenalee. Finally, the ambience was broken when Lavi saw the Viking Ship and asked if Lenalee would want to try it later.

"Hai, that seems fun! All of us could sit at the highest level later on!" She smiled and laughed, making both feel comfortable with each other again as they continued joking and chatting.

"Erm, Lenalee, I would like to ask you something..." Lavi asked shyly, "We... Were you touching my face yesterday when I was sleeping? Was there something on my face then?"

A long pause stiffled the air, "Er... Yeah... there was something on your face... Curry, that is." she stammered throughout her explanation. She had no intention of confessing her feelings on such a trip with the others like this, as she knew she would be recognised as the third party who seemingly snatched Lavi away from his girlfriend Chomesuke, who she thought was more pretty and popular than her.

They got out of the cable, and Lenalee sighed a sign of relieve when she escaped from the possibility that Lavi might continue asking her about yesterday's encounter.

After a tiring day of scary and exciting rides, they retreated back to their homes for bedtime.

Back at school on monday, they continued their daily routines of study and play once again. Just as they were walking to their classrooms, Chomesuke surprisingly came forward to Lavi, and shot a weird stare at Lenalee. The brown-haired girl pulled her boyfriend away into the corner by his sleeves, and the others left, leaving them some privacy.

Lenalee somehow could sense Chomesuke weird expression at her, and wondered why she pulled Lavi away so rudely. She took a glance back, just to realize that their shadows had disappeared into the background.

Behind the walls, Chomesuke stood in front of Lavi ready to confront and settle the misunderstanding that she felt was present between them. Upon remembering the last evening, when she phoned him, just to spot him together with Lenalee on their way home. She felt indignant about the fact that he actually lied to her, and also angry with herself for trusting her own boyfriend too much, and maybe for spending too little time with him.

"We... were you telling the truth when you said you were having training when I called you that day?" She asked, with her eyes slowly swelling up without the notice of the guy in front of her.

"I... I really was having training..." Lavi stammered incoherently, unwilling to spill out the truth. He did not have the intention to hurt her, and thought that hiding the truth would be a better option than letting her misunderstand the relationship between Lenalee and himself.

"Y... you are still lying to me now! I... I saw you walking home with Lenalee!" with her tears finally building up and unleashing themselves completely, flowing down her heated cheeks.

She could not bear with the hurt. She found it impossible to deal with the fact that her boyfriend could not even tell her the truth and confide in her. Being too ashamed and embarrassed, she turned her back and ran back to class along the narrow hallway through the crowd.

Regret filled Lavi's heart at that moment. He thought, _I'm sorry for lying..._

**A/N:** Seems shorter than usual...

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	7. Because

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man. If I did, Lavi and Lenalee will be together, there will be a love square with Allen, Kanda, Road and Tyki. But there isn't any, so D. Gray Man does not belong to me.

**Hajimari's A/N:** I've been dying in school because it just started after a wonderful 4-week holiday. Too short for a holiday? I should say so.

I WILL CONQUER MATH ONE DAY! (Probably twenty years later...)

Don't mind it, just needed to let it out…

Anyway, enjoy!

Hope it won't be boring.

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_**Chapter 7: Because**_

It was the worst week Lavi had endured for the whole of his life. There had been so many issues to deal with and the constant failure of remembering test dates didn't help either. Even now, both luck and nature were still defying him for the sun was shining on his face, stinging his eyes as if ordering him to wake up. Even Saturday was getting a bad start. It took him all the willpower to stop himself from ripping his textbooks apart due to stress.

Like he would risk it.

He continued his Saturday regime: wash up, prepare breakfast and eat alone (his parents go for business travels so much they might as well be labeled M.I.A) and then watch a bunch of boring shows featuring on the television.

As he ate his breakfast on the kitchen table with the television blasting the music of Teen Titans on Cartoon Network, Lavi was deep in thought. He figured making up to Chomesuke, apologize for everything and give her the most cliché apology gift: a red rose and maybe chocolates.

But just as he decided on that idea, Lenalee's face popped into his mind, as if reminding him of her existence. _What about Lenalee?_ His inner voice asked, provoking Lavi's thoughts immediately. He needed to sort this out.

If he loves Chomesuke, what was Lenalee to him?

"She is just a responsibility." He muttered to himself slowly, as if unsure. "She is my best friend." Images of her smiling face came into his mind, her green hair flowing with the breeze and her eyes full of gleeful shine and goodness.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and Lavi wondered if it could be his parents. He rolled his eyes, sarcastically thinking to himself that it was about time they'll be back. "Hai, hai!" He called, and the knocking on the door stopped.

Lavi threw open the door and was ready to greet his parents. But he was fairly surprised to see that they were not who he expected but rather, they were Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, and Miranda.

"Took you long enough to open the door." Kanda said in his usual grouchy mood.

"Wow, that's the thing to say when you showed yourselves here uninvited," Lavi retorted sarcastically. Normally, he would be cheerful to make fun of Kanda but that morning was not 'normally' because Lavi was grouchy as well, and Lavi being grouchy in a stressed way isn't normal.

Everyone blinked at Lavi's unfriendliness in surprise, even Kanda. But their faces also showed guilt for coming to the red-haired's house without notification or any sort as well.

"Well, why are you here?" Lavi broke the silence, the intensity in the air remained. His eyes bored on the group, and he found himself looking at Lenalee much more than he wanted to.

And that's not a good sign.

"Well," Lenalee started, looking up at him in the eye and blushed lightly. "We thought you seemed glum the past few days so we wanted to cheer you up." Finding herself unable to look at Lavi anymore without her heart being still, the green-haired girl looked down again and continued, "Kanda and Allen brought movies over and Miranda and I had made cookies and cake."

Lavi felt felt a twinge of guilt. How could he be such a jerk when they only had kind intentions? They had proven to be true friends by how they noticed him and how they tried to help by putting things right for him. And yet he was being difficult by acting all high and mighty when he was the person who needed his friends.

"I'm sorry for being such a…." Lavi didn't know what to call himself.

"An idiot?" Allen said helpfully.

"A jerk?" Kanda added with a thin smile on his lips.

"Yeah, well, whatever." Lavi flung his arms in feigned exasperation and the whole group laughed.

After they entered the house, the familiar bicker between Allen and Kanda commenced again.

"We should watch Spy Kids because it's cool!" Allen shouted, his eyes narrowed, determined to get his way with the choice of movie.

"Yeah, because you're a kid yourself, moyashi," Kanda retorted. "People who know any better will watch The Last Samurai."

"Just because there is a blade in the movie doesn't prove that it's better." Allen said.

Kanda didn't say anything but stared at Allen with ferocity. The white-haired boy didn't back down but persisted the silent fight by eye-contact, daggers seemingly to shoot from each other's eyes.

"Now, now," Lavi said, trying to stop the both of them.

"_Back off…_" the two bickering guys turned and looked at the red-haired menacingly and said in dangerously soft voices that were mixed with a threatening aura. Lavi quickly backed away, not wanting to suffer the wrath of Kanda's swordplay and Allen's powerful punch (for he has strong muscles).

"How about watching Around the World in 80 Days?" Miranda suggested timidly, fearing the bickering pair.

"That's a great idea, Miranda!" Lenalee said in an intentional loud voice, prompting Allen and Kanda to look at her with widened eyes.

"I guess I'm fine with that." Allen shrugged. He could never refuse the green-haired girl for any matter, Lavi carefully noted.

"But…!" Kanda wanted to protest further but Lenalee silenced him with the persuasive yet intimidating come-on-it-will-be-fun-and-if-you-protest-you-will-die look. The swords-player shuddered slightly and suddenly felt small in the shorter girl's presence. "Fine." He said, turning away with a deep but silent sigh.

After the "happy" compromising over the movie, everyone gathered in the living room while Lavi helped to pull the curtains and switch off the lights, as well as preparing the snacks and drinks. Allen offered to help but Lavi simply brushed away his offer, adopting propriety. But Lenalee knew that he was apologizing silently in actions rather than words, unknowingly to the others.

When the credits of the movie rolled, Lavi excused himself. His friends widened their eyes in shock, protesting of his absence.

"We did this for you, Lavi!" Allen said.

"It'll be meaningless if you're off to your room." Kanda added, fully supportive of Allen. Well, at least that's _one _thing they agreed on.

"Lavi, don't you want to watch the movie with us?" Miranda added her own words of persuasion.

"You'll be letting us down like that, Lavi." Lenalee spoke softly and looked at him with a silent plead.

When their eyes met briefly, Lenalee quickly looked down, unwilling to look into his eyes anymore.

"I…er…well, actually, I didn't want to watch the movie." Lavi confessed bluntly. The others fell silent, and Miranda carefully and surreptitiously pause the movie so that there wasn't any loud roaring of music in the background.

There was a dramatic amount of silence until Lavi coughed in a professional manner and continued, "I had wanted to be alone today, but you guys came. So…" he trailed off, hoping that he needn't make things anymore clearer.

"We understand." Lenalee said, her softly voice audible in the silent house.

"We do?" Allen shot her a bewildered look.

"_We do_." Kanda emphasized. Allen, not happy to be reprimanded by _Kanda_, glared daggers in his directions and another staring contest began.

"Well, thanks." Lavi said, suddenly at a loss for words. Gratefulness was in his tone, Lenalee could tell.

When Lavi went up to his room, he could hear the sounds of the movie below in the living room. He smiled to himself; he had managed to satisfy his friends and himself.

The red-haired teen lay on the bed, grabbing his comforter and rolled on the bed with it, not at all ashamed at his childishness. After all, he was still a child at heart. There was a sense of satisfaction being alone, a calming effect in the room that allowed him to be restful and remember the happy memories.

He went to his balcony which had a lovely view of the sea. He often blamed his parents for getting a beach house as the smell of the sea makes him nauseous most of the time. But time past and he got used to it, even loving the fact that the sea smell of calmness, the tanginess rushed into his nose and gave a surprisingly soothing effect. He laid on the rattan recliner and closed his eyes, letting the swish-swosh sounds of the sea pacify him.

The sun was shining brightly on the earth, the rays gentle and moderate enough to only spread a layer of warmth on Lavi but not making him perspire. It feels so amazing with the warmth teasing his skin and the wind blowing his red hair.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, causing Lavi to leap from the heavenly spot to answer it. Lenalee appeared as he opened the door, her hands held a tray with two tall glasses of juice.

"May I come in?" Lenalee asked softly, her voice trembling slightly but Lavi didn't notice.

"Of…of course." The red-haired boy said, welcoming her into the room.

She placed the tray on Lavi's desk and sat down on an armchair that was nearby, while Lavi sat on the bed, facing her.

"Well, aren't you going down to join the others in the movie?" Lavi asked with his hands at the back of his head in a laid-back manner.

"I'm not that interested in that movie anyway." Lenalee confessed guiltily. "I mean, it was neutral movie to stop Allen and Kanda from fighting."

Lavi sweat-dropped. To think that Lenalee was so brilliant in solving the conflict between Allen and Kanda, it was much unexpected.

"Say, Lavi," Lenalee started, "You have been very quiet for the past week. Is…is something bothering you?"

Lavi blinked at Lenalee and saw her searching his face for tell-tale signs. For once, he was relieved and glad that she didn't have a very strong will in avoiding him. He muttered audibly, "It's something that you shouldn't be worried about."

"I see." Lenalee said, and the offended tone in her voice shocked him a little. "'It's something that you shouldn't be worried about', does that mean that we are not worthy of worrying for you?" Her eyes contained a fury that was rare for Lenalee.

"Lenalee…"

"Are we not your friends? Shouldn't you be telling us your worries?" Lenalee said, tears stinging her eyes. "I…I don't want my friends to hide anything from me. We're all concerned about you. Lavi, I care for you." Realizing what she just said, she quickly added, "I care for my friends."

Lavi looked away upon hearing her words. He was hiding so many things from them, things he didn't want to tell anyone. Those were his secrets, and he didn't like to reveal them anytime too soon. How would they react, if they ever heard of the starters that resulted in Lenalee's amnesia? How would Lenalee react? She'll probably hate him forever.

Lavi liked the things they were now: Lenalee thinking that they were friends, Chomesuke and him in a temporary lovers' tiff (he liked to think so), Kanda and Allen with their usual bickers, and Miranda and Krory has wonderful and thoughtful companions.

He didn't want anything to change, especially his relationship with Lenalee as friends.

"Lenalee, please understand that everyone has secrets." He looked up at her, searching her eyes. "You must have some too."

Lenalee looked shocked for a moment, but her expression showed understanding. She nodded, pulling back imminent tears.

"Don't you want to go down to join Allen and the others?" Lavi asked, hoping her absence would clear the tense atmosphere between them.

"I…I want to stay here." Lenalee said quietly.

The red-haired didn't question any further but nodded and returned to his previous relaxing spot on the balcony. But that peace was already disrupted as questions and troubles filled him again.

_Lavi, why won't you tell her about the car accident?_ His inner voice asked.

_Because I don't want anything to change._

_Why does it matter? Why does the change matter? _His inner voice prompted again.

_Lenalee will…_

_Why does it matter? Why does she matter?_

_Because she is my responsibility, my best friend, and probably something more. She is… She will...  
_

_Why do you care so much for Lenalee?_

_Because._

_Because…?_

_Because._

The glasses of juice remained untouched.

* * *

A/N: Okay, weird way to end and yes, I know it's quite boring with nothing to anticipate but I hope you enjoyed that! Now there is more tension and awkwardness between Lavi and Lenalee, how will things turn out? I wonder…

Please review!


	8. Mistake

**Disclaimer:** D Gray Man is not mine, only my computer with hundreds of D Gray Man pictures is mine.

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait. School reopens, and I just got too much things to do.

* * *

**_Chapter 8: Mistake_**

Lavi's 'because' mind struggle finally ceased, as it occurred to him that he cannot have Lenalee staring at his guilty face thinking about something that cannot be told to her. But it was too late. The girl sitting beside him did not fail to notice something fishy going on.

"What's wrong? Do you have something to tell me?" she asked with concern, her light-weighted hands settled down on red-haired teenage's shoulder.

"It's nothing," he said in his deep troubled voice, while brushing those delicate hands off and standing up from his seat to avoid any possible body contact between them. He picked up the glasses of juice and handed them to Lenalee, "I'm really fine, I think it will be better if you bring these drinks out to offer to the other guys outside, they must be thirsty." He said, trying to sound as calm as possible to not arouse any suspicions.

Lenalee's hands headed to the glasses, and accidentally brushed against the fingers of Lavi. What she had not expected was that the guy in front of her would be so affected by that slightest touch, and drop the glasses of juice she had prepared on the tiled floor of his bedroom. The glass fragments made a loud and sharp noise as they collided with the floor before breaking into minute pieces.

"Ah, so...sorry, it just slipped off my fingers by accident. I... I will go get the broom here." He hurried to the door nervously, just to meet the three worried friends who were outside watching the movie rushing in because of the commotion caused.

"Hey, is everything alright in here?" Allen asked in bewilderment.

"Yea... just dropped something, that's all." Lavi replied, and headed to the kitchen to get the broom.

Arriving in the kitchen, he thought while his heart raced against his ribcage, _Oh, what did I just do? That was such a big over-reaction over the slightest contact! Seriously, what's happening to me? _He clenched the ends of his red hair, frustration soon taking over his senses. He had enough of all that burden of being in a dilemma between Chomesuke and Lenalee. How he wished that he could take a rest, and cast all his troubles just like throwing rubbish into the rubbish chute and never claiming it back again.

Finally, he managed to keep his cool, get on with the right things – that is, getting the broom to clear up the mess and stop thinking about his relationship with Lenalee.

When Lavi arrived back in the room with the broom, the girl suddenly spoke, "Allen-kun, sorry, but could you help us clear up the mess here? I need to talk to Lavi outside for a while." She grabbed Lavi's hand and took the broom away from his hands, pulling him by the sleeves outside to get things straight.

They made their way out to the balcony with Lavi being pulled unwillingly, and Lenalee closed the transparent sliding door behind them so that the others would not hear.

She gathered up her courage and made her confession, and also carry out the interrogation of Lavi's actions towards her. She needed to find out the explanation to the guy's weird behavior, and not let the uneasiness that was present here continue.

"Lavi, you're really acting weird recently. Like, what's wrong, what is it that you're hiding from me? I can sense it, please Lavi, tell me what is it that is troubling you." She spoke in her worried and thought-provoking tone, her hands reaching out to his, hoping to draw the truth out of him. "I'm your friend. I wish celebrate with you when you're happy, and also share your burden when you're down."

"No, Lenalee, it's really nothing. I'm... I'm just a little down over the things going on with Chomesuke." He finally confessed, except the part about him having constant thoughts of Lenalee in his mind all day.

The girl responded with deepest guilt, "I see... Are things alright? Erm... sorry that I'm still here pestering you when you are feeling so down, I'm really sorry..." heading her way out of the balcony, not wanting to add oil to the fire of Lavi's boiling troubles.

"No, you don't need to be..." The words came out from Lavi as he caught her hand back. He continued as he took in a deep breath to calm himself down, "I guess I can't hide it from you anymore. I... I... I..." his hands traveled up Lenalee's hands and arms, advancing towards her surprised face. He paused his words, but not his actions.

The touch of his hands against Lenalee's skin sent shivers down to the spine, but she did not resist. As his hands held her smooth and delicate face, the red-haired man in front of Lenalee leaned his body in, the room between them diminishing. Slowly his head and face moved closer too, making miniature movements by the second. The wind that blew past sent his reddish and smooth hair flying, making him as charming as an idol posing for a commercial. The orange leaves of the autumn flew and descended upon them, increasing the level of romantic ambiance in that small area of the balcony.

Lenalee just stood there being drawn in by Lavi's sudden reaction, and succumbed to his temptation as she could not withhold the feelings she had for him anymore. Staring at his right eye-patch and into his left eye, she was mesmerized by his gaze, just like he was by her.

They were just inches apart, and the breath of each against their face tickled, and they felt like they were completely immersed in a separate world with just the existence of them both, without the disturbance of anyone else. They hoped the moment would last forever, and the time to part would never come.

Being oblivious to their surroundings, they had not noticed the other three friends in the living room, sticking their faces to the transparent door that separates the two worlds.

Just as Lenalee's and Lavi's noses touched, the over-excited little boy Allen blurted out loudly, "Ah! They're going to kiss!"

The comment, unfortunately, immediately reached the ears of the two through the non-soundproofed glass door, waking them from the slumber and bringing back their senses.

They turned to the glass door, realizing that they have been stared at all this time, and parted, breaking the bond that they shared just a while ago. Awkwardness and embarrassment conquered the air around them, as they thought in their own minds.

_Did... did I just try to kiss her? _Lavi thought, _How could I even think of doing that when I already have Chomesuke? Am I really falling for Lenalee?_

On the other hand, Lenalee also thought to herself, _Oh, how can I be so drawn in by him, when he already has a girlfriend? He might have done that in a moment of foolishness when he is down, but... but I myself shouldn't have carried on with it!_ She blamed herself for being too carried away.

In order to avoid any further embarrassment for both, Lavi went out to the living room, "I need to collect some photographs from the photo printing shop on my parents' behalf, so you all may want to leave first." He quickly announced to all, and made his way back to the bedroom, praying that they would all forget what they have seen earlier on – that is, what he did to Lenalee.

He sat at the edge of his bed, blood all centred at his head, breathing heavily as a natural bodily function to calm down. He had no idea what the hell was he thinking by doing that.

_Seriously, _he told himself, _it's just a moment of getting a little hotheaded in front of a pretty girl. This is normal! I'm just a perfectly normal teenage guy!_

After Lavi finally managed to be convinced by the voice in his mind, he laid back down in his bed, muttering the words _I love Chomesuke I love Chomesuke _again and again to eventually fell asleep.

Definitely the self-denial brainwashing worked for him. But Lenalee was still in her trance, not yet recovered from the shock of her life that she had just experienced. The guy who she cared for and depended on so much actually made such a move on her.

That set her thinking. _Who is Lavi? Do I see him as a friend, or a man? And how does he feel towards me? I mean, it doesn't mean anything just because he tried to kiss me, right? He didn't even say anything..._

Waking up the next morning, Lavi once again recalled yesterday's long series of events. The pressurising headache returned, and the worries asked for his participation again.

Time ticked, and he figured that he could not afford to hurt any of the two girls. Especially Lenalee, since he was guilty of making her lose her memory indirectly. But he could not bear to make Chomesuke cry too. After all, she made huge sacrifices for him that he could never forget.

When he forgot to bring his textbook, she offered him hers, although she needed it for her lessons, and that she knew her extremely gay teacher would punish her by standing for the whole period. Despite that, she still helped him, she herself facing the undesirable consequences. Not because she was being a model student that is being so helpful and kind towards her friends, but because she liked Lavi. He was very sure of that.

Lavi agreed to be her boyfriend of course, when she confessed to her. After all, she was one of the most popular girls in school, and he felt really honored to be liked by her.

They spent time playing in the playgrounds like little kids, watched movies in the cinemas like teenagers, and dined in classy restaurants once in a while like adults. It was as though they were meant for each other, and could very well spend their whole lifetime together.

That was true, until now. Right now, he had lost the courage to face her in the eyes, as he knew what he had done behind her back. Hiding the truth of him causing the memory loss of Lenalee, Keeping those weird feelings for Lenalee when she is not around, and harboring ill thoughts of Lenalee without sparing a thought for his girlfriend.

Lavi could not take it anymore. The only way to not hurt Chomesuke, was to save her from falling for him any further. He decided to break up with her first, before she gets hurt too badly. After the breakup, he can then rest for a while and carefully sort out those strange emotions between him and Lenalee.

He got dressed, striding in heavy steps walking towards Chomesuke's home. He had no idea it would turn out to be. His courage, he hoped, would gather up when he looked in her eyes, without backing out at the last minute.

The distance to her house seemed particularly near, and the journey was short. There he was, now at the door of Chomesuke's house. His hands trembled as they were lifted towards the doorbell.

It rung, and that huge piece of wood standing vertically opened at a rough degree of 30 degrees, revealing the face of a friendly old lady. She was Chomesuke's grandmother. Lavi was already exposed to her humour and graciousness long ago. For that, she was charming for her age.

Seeing the bright boy she was quite familiar with, she gestured him to enter, and told him politely that her granddaughter was in the bedroom.

Lavi took a step in, and took small and tiny steps in the direction of Chomesuke's bedroom. When he reached there finally, he stood at the door quietly, unable to calm down, trying to get his senses back to make out the words he actually rehearsed to speak later on.

Facing the painted fancy pink door, he regretted.

_Mistake._

_It was all a mistake from the start._

_The mistake to come here, the mistake to lie to her about Lenalee, the mistake of neglecting Chomesuke, the mistake of falling for Lena..._

He stopped.

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**A/N:** That's all for today! Enjoy, and BYE-BYE-cycle!


	9. Boundaries

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: Trigonometry is going down I'll tell ya! It's like the mistake of mathematicians of the century! Okay, there goes my little rant. Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

_**Chapter 9: Boundaries**_

_Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So, you can waste your life drawing lines or live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know, if you're willing to take the chance, the view on the other side will be spectacular._

_Words from Meredith Grey, from Grey's Anatomy_

Lenalee was flustered. She had considered feigning ill to avoid going to school that day. But she knew of the consequences that would revolve around her brother, and that wasn't anymore pleasant than meeting with Lavi face to face after what has happened.

She reluctantly rises from her bed, missing the warm covers already. As she opened the window to welcome the first ray of sunlight into her room, falling orange-red leaves greeted her instead. She smiled widely; autumn was here.

It was the start of the new season, this Lenalee knew. If only it was the start of all these complications with Lavi, autumn would be even better. The earlier the realizations, the easier everything would be solved. In addition, she hasn't regained any memory yet, although the doctor said that she would have a high chance to remember the past. Apparently, he had been wrong.

There had been so many dubious moments about her identity. Although she knew who she was, she wanted something more. She wanted someone to love her in a way that excludes obsessive sister complex; someone, anyone but definitely not Lavi.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

"I don't like him. He has a girlfriend already. He is just a friend. I don't like him." Lenalee chanted repeatedly, hoping that mindset will settle in her mind.

She calmed her beating heart, and went ahead with her daily regime, washing up and all. When she descended down the stairs, there was a plate of breakfast – ham, scrambled eggs and sausages – and a little note. "Dear Lenalee, I've made my love breakfast for you. Please enjoy! Remember your brother always." Lenalee muttered the note softly, tingling at the sister complex but feeling a little warm at heart.

As usual, she took the bus to school. Everything was normal until she reached school. Her heart pounded with every step made in the school compound, half hoping she would come across Lavi, and half hoping she won't.

She saw Allen at a distance and approached him with relief for he was the only close friend he knew at that time. "Good morning, Allen." She greeted him with a smile. "Nice to see you, Lenalee." He returned a greeting and continued, "Do you see Lavi? He is unusually late today."

"No, I didn't." Lenalee said, with a shocking sense of relief.

"I see, and to think he said he will be early because he was fetching Chomesuke as well. She likes promptness, you know." Allen said.

"They're together?" Lenalee asked, shocked at the revelation.

"Of course," Allen said with a confused frown, "I thought you knew that they were in a relationship, didn't you?"

"I…I did." Lenalee stuttered, "Sorry, I must have forgotten."

"Shall we go to class now?" Allen asked good-naturedly.

"I need to go to washroom. Just go without me." Lenalee said hurriedly and went away quickly, leaving Allen confused and he shrugged before walking away.

Lenalee didn't know where she was heading to. All she knew was that she needed to be away from everyone, away from those who would be asking her what's wrong. She didn't want anyone to know, because that would be scandalous; liking somebody who was attached to another.

Finally, her legs led her to the school courtyard, where the eco-club actually planted various species of flowers and herbs. They were lovely and Lenalee found herself calming a little when their spicy and sweet scents hit her nose.

"Lenalee," A voice called from behind.

Jolting, the Chinese girl quickly turned to look at the new arrival. She widened her eyes at the sight of Lavi. Her heart pounded again in the familiar quick tempo. She hopes he would just go away, so that she wouldn't feel any more hurt than she had already endured. _Go away, Lavi_, Lenalee thought desperately, _I don't want to see you_.

"Lavi," Lenalee managed to say his name. She saw him approach her with an unreadable expression, somewhere between relief and guilt. Finally, after what it felt like hours to Lenalee, the red-haired boy was standing in front of her.

"Hey," he greeted casually.

"Hi," she replied in the same casual tone, though the suspense was killing her.

"Umm…you know, on Saturday, I was, well…anyway, I'm sorry for what I did, trying to kiss you." Lavi apologized awkwardly.

Lenalee didn't know what to say. She wanted to lash out right at him, shout at him for how stupid he was and how much she hated him because she love him. But the words wouldn't come out. They were just stuck in her throat. Before she knew what she was saying, she blurted out plaintively, "It's okay, you know, because I actually like you." When she realized what she was saying, she didn't dare to look at Lavi's face but continued, "I'm sorry for fantasizing so much. I…actually, I really don't know what to say."

"Lenalee, you must understand one thing." Lavi tried to be calm. "I have a girlfriend. I have a wonderful girlfriend who is Chomesuke. She is great, lovely and all. I had considered breaking up with her but I can't. I just couldn't bear to hurt her. I like her, I love her. I don't want to betray her like that. We're…we're not what we thought it seems to be. We're just not…"

"For goodness' sake, just shut up!" Lenalee screamed, finally snapping into two pieces. Lavi looked up, shocked at Lenalee and her tears that were flowing down. "You're saying everything I know! You're saying everything I don't want to hear! I like you now, but I…I can't remember anything of the past, I can't even remember who I liked before this! I'm sure it wasn't you! I hope it isn't you! I'm sure the 'me' in the past wouldn't be this despicable to like someone with a girlfriend! I…" Her tears cut her off as she cried loudly.

"You've got the right to hate me." Lavi said, his tone solemn. "I…I was the cause of all this. I caused the accident, and I caused you to have amnesia. That, I'm sorry. But if you listened to the whole story and try to understand…"

"So it was you." Lenalee sobbed quietly. "It was because of you that I can't remember a thing of the past!"

"Please listen and try to understand…"

"I don't need to!" Lenalee shouted sadly, feeling like a thousand needles poking in her heart. "If I didn't lose my memories, I wouldn't be here, liking you now! I might be having a crush on Allen! He's a nice guy and I might like him if I didn't lose my memories. Maybe, you're not the one I like after all."

Silence.

"You should hate me." Lavi said solemnly.

"I do."

"You've got the right to."

"I know."

"Do you like me, even now?" Lavi asked in an even tone, restraining to show any emotions in his voice. He wanted to be neutral for the time being.

"Yes, I do." Lenalee admitted after a long time.

"Then don't." Lavi said, "Continue to hate me. I'll feel better this way."

"Me too. It's something we have in common."

Without any parting words, Lavi left just like that. Lenalee waited until the sound of his padded footsteps died out, then collapsed onto a bench nearby, hugging herself and crying her heart out.

"But I still love you, Lavi." She cried softly to herself.

The boundary was already crossed.

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A/N: Yes, solemn chapter, I know. Hate me, flame me, whatever. I think it adds to the feel of the whole story. If it was M-rated, I'll make it more scandalous, but it's not, so it's a pity; I love scandals.

Please review, and feel free to flame if you dislike this chapter or hate this story because it's a Lavi x Lenalee fiction instead of an Allen x Lenalee one. Yes, I know how many fans the couple has.

Hope you have enjoyed this chapter!

Sorry for repeated rambles. I'm feeling very 'whatever' today.


	10. Different

**Disclaimer:** D Gray Man is not mine.

**A/N: **Haiz, I finally rushed it out before exams!

* * *

**_Chapter 10: Different_**

Shortly after crying her heart out, the ringing of the lesson bell just had to make things worse. Lenalee has no choice but to head back to class for a boring session of history.

No matter how much she didn't want to see Lavi again, she certainly hater being embarrassed in front of the entire class for being late. Because that would just draw more attention to her swollen eyes.

On her way back to the classroom, she came across her white-haired friend who she thought was always approachable. She gave her eyes a final wipe off the tears with the end of her sleeves, before greeting Allen with her cheerful smile.

"Hi, Lenalee, have you seen where Lavi is? I haven't seen him the whole morning." Allen asked with concern just like how a good friend would.

The name made her stare into space for moment, for she hasn't recovered from the shock earlier on, all that hurtful words things she knew but did not wish to hear. Alas, she woke up from her daze when she noticed Allen looking suspiciously at her while waiting for her reply.

"Erm... nope, I haven't seen him either."

They reached the classroom, and Lenalee eyes took a quick glimpse at Lavi's seat.

"Hmm... seems like he's skipping class today..." Allen said while they headed to their seat in front together with Lenalee.

What he hadn't noticed was the sense of relief in the girl's eyes. She heaved a sigh as she felt glad that she did not have to deal with the awkwardness and uneasiness if she saw Lavi.

For the next few periods of the day, Lenalee turned back occasionally back to where Lavi's seat was, just to check whether he has decided to come back for class or not. What she wanted had not come true. But that was a good thing after all. It wouldn't be so nice to see him again after he said those hurtful things to her.

The day passed by, filling Lenalee's head with nothing but the monotonous voice of their boring history teacher. It seemed a little too quiet for the group. Well, except for the routine bickering of Allen and Kanda. All knew very well of the reason behind the monotony. It was Lavi who hasn't been around the whole day to brighten up the mood and create the joking atmosphere around the table.

After school, Allen went up to Lenalee surprisingly, and of course, Lenalee was wondering what was it that he wanted to ask.

"Lenalee, do...do you want to come to my house? I've got some questions on mathematics that I want to ask you."

Lenalee being the nice friend she was, agreed to it. They then made their way to Allen's house.

The journey there was kept lively, when Allen made an effort to make Lenalee laugh with his jokes and riddles.

But none could beat Lavi's way of making her feel at ease. And the feeling was just different. Indescribable.

Upon arrival, Lenalee sat down on the sofa and began taking out the homework and worksheets, while Allen went into the kitchen to get Lenalee some drinks.

Seeing Allen back, she asked Allen, "This is the first time I've been to your house right?"

"No, you've been here before. I think it was just before you lost your memory, when you together with Lavi and the others came over for dinner."

"Oh... sorry, I really cannot remember anything."

They carried on with their work, and Allen constantly asked for Lenalee's help on solving trigonometry questions. Okay, so that was Allen's weak point.

But something felt really weird. Lenalee was starting to feel more nervous, her heart racing faster. She knew what it was. It was Allen's occasional stares into her eyes when asking her the questions. And for some unknown reason, Allen was seated much closer to her than before.

No, this isn't right. Why am I feeling like that towards Allen? Isn't he just a normal friend that I can talk to? She thought.

Allen began asking her questions again, and this never ended. However, Lenalee was starting to feel pressurized at the proximity between them. It sent shivers down her spine, and could not take it anymore.

Finally, she made an escape by the excuse of going to the toilet. Allen was left there alone, still deep in though with his worksheet full of scribbled workings.

She opened the tap, filled her two hands with water and splashed in onto her face to wake herself up. She looked up in the mirror, and saw her reflection with water droplets dripping down from her face.

During this period of time, her mind then floated back to Lavi. She thought about how much she liked him, the caring and helpful side of him.

However, she thought, _No, he already has a girlfriend, and he explained to me the truth very explicit earlier on. I should maybe just forget about him._

She then thought about Allen who was still outside doing his mathematics. _Maybe... maybe I should consider Allen, maybe...maybe that could help me forget Lavi._

She then wiped her face dry and went back to the living room.

Taking down a seat beside Allen, she tried to move closer by making an excuse of teaching him how to do it.

Now the tables are turned. It was Lenalee whose heart was racing and feeling uncomfortable earlier on, but now it was Allen's turn to feel the same way.

"Er... Allen-kun, how... how do you actually feel towards me?" she asked boldly.

He stopped in hiatus for a while, and the silence totally killed Lenalee. It was as though everyone in the whole world was rejecting her.

In order not to get humiliated any further, she spoke first, "No, I don't mean anything. I... I was just curious that's all."

"I like you." Allen suddenly blurted out.

Lenalee stared in disbelief. Although she didn't like being rejected by others, she just did not expect this kind of response from Allen. Could it be that he has liked her all this while without her knowing?

"Oh, erm... thinking about it, I've got to go home now." She spoke quickly, trying to avoid all awkwardness.

"Then what about your reply?" Allen asked.

Lenalee took her things and walked quickly out of the house, and it seems that she didn't hear what Allen had asked of her.

On the way home, just everything was just not going well for Lenalee. She tripped over every step along the pavement, bumped into passer-bys and got a scolding, and even got caught in the heavy rain that seemed to be against her.

Finally back in the comfort of her home, she lay down on her bed, and started contemplating about her decision of choosing between Lavi and Allen.

The one that she likes is Lavi, but her love is unreturned. The one that likes her is Allen, but she does not have the feelings for him. Or maybe not yet.

Whatever the case, it was brain-wrecking and disturbing. Because of all the exhausting thinking, her eyes shut down slowly, and the room came to a standstill.

* * *

**A/N: **Boring isn't it? Sorry, my head is kind of... dead from all that stress from studying.


	11. Delusion

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

**Hajimari's A/N:** I'm willing to do thousands of exam papers if I can don't receive my results for them. So basically, that sums up to my exams suck. Sorry for vulgarities. Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

**_Chapter 11: Delusion_**

Lavi walked down the street half-heartedly. Skipping school was rare for him but he decided he needed to take a break from all this drama. After saying all those things to Lenalee, he felt sad as well. He knew their friendship cannot be maintained anymore. It was gone, 'poof' in the air in those five minutes of conversation with Lenalee.

His mind conjured images of the green-haired girl, laughing, smiling, thinking and even crying. They had been together for so long, and yet the bond between them was broken in a mere five minutes. Memories created with her seemed like old pictures of thousands of centuries ago, still precious and unforgotten.

"Sir, would you like a flower?" Lavi turned and saw a little girl handing him a rose, and in her other hand, was a basket full of it. Without consideration, he took out some coins to give the girl and then accepted the rose held out to him.

Then he realized that he had no one to give the rose to. Chomesuke was allergic to roses, and he didn't feel like flirting with random girls at the moment. Suddenly, Lenalee entered his mind. Maybe he could give her the rose as an apology. But that idea was quickly crushed when he remembered the symbolic meaning of the rose.

Being totally out of character, he placed the rose in his bag and above the books, careful not to have it crushed. He knew he needed to get home, but he didn't know why. There was an urge to.

When he entered the soundless house, he went up to his room and took out the delicate flower before throwing his bag on the floor. With the rose resting on the desk, Lavi plopped himself onto the bed, glad for the soft mattress and the comforting covers.

"What do I do with you?" Lavi asked to no one in particular as he looked at the rose. "Lenalee…" He said the name with a weird feeling. He felt butterflies in his stomach when her image came into his mind and his heart raced.

He shook off the feeling. He cannot like Lenalee; it was him who brought harm to her in the first place, caused her memories to disappear in only a mere few seconds. It felt like a killer loving his target; it was a sad philosophy of his.

Now that it has come to this, he cannot change his mind anymore. He had chosen Chomesuke, and now he cannot regret that decision. He has to force himself to love Chomesuke, in one way or another.

Suddenly, he heard the vibration of his phone on the desk and went to pick it up to see the text message he had just received. Flipping it open, he saw the words, 'Chomesuke' materialize on the phone's screen.

_Why did you skip school today? It's very unlike you. Want to go out at 3 later?_

Lavi sighed deeply and replied, saying the normal excuses like he wasn't feeling well but agree to go out with her. When he replaced the phone on the desk, he regretted his decision because he wanted to be alone now, and away from everyone.

_If it is Lenalee…?_

The voice in his head spoke, and his senses jolted. He shook the image of the girl out of her mind and distracted himself by changing into a new set of clothes before meeting Chomesuke and decided what to do on their date. For safety measure, he brought the rose with him, just in case she demanded for a little something.

Lavi met Chomesuke at the cinema. They bought tickets to a movie and did things like what a couple should; hug, smile, chat a lot, look into each other's eyes and all the mushy things one can think of. But Lavi couldn't feel anything except the comfort when he looked at the petite girl's genuine enjoyment.

When they kissed goodbye, Lavi felt guiltily relieved. He was so afraid that Chomesuke might be saddened if she found out about the things between him and Lenalee, even though nothing started at all, and knowing himself, Lavi knew he would blurt out the truth sooner and later. Now that she was gone, the feeling vanished as well, if not mitigated.

During his journey home, he considered going over to Lenalee's house. He could not place the feeling well, only that he needed to see her to check if things were going right for her. Reassurance, he told himself, reassurance.

Soon, he found himself walking around the bend of the road to Lenalee's house. He was nervous, his heart was racing and his palms were beginning to sweat. What was he going to do? He felt like a lovesick guy caught in a dilemma. But nonetheless, he was determined to be brave and meet Lenalee.

As he was reaching Lenalee's house, he saw a familiar white-haired boy standing in front of her, handing her a calculus textbook. The Chinese girl accepted it very shyly while Allen was still rooted to the ground. A gust of wind blew by Lavi and he sneezed rather violently.

Unknowingly to Lavi, Lenalee heard somebody sneezing and had looked his way. She saw him hiding at a corner very suspiciously and guessed that he was on his way to wherever but happened to stop by. When Lavi had recovered from the sneeze, he looked up again at the two of them and was shocked to the fullest at the scene he had just witnessed.

Lenalee had suddenly placed her hands on Allen's cheeks and pulled him towards her. Her lips were pressed onto his and Lavi's eyes widened at the girl's boldness. What was going on? This morning, she was crying and shouting at him on how she loved him. And now, this?

Lavi didn't want to believe she was a player, and he knew she wasn't that kind of person, but he knew his eyes cannot lie. What could be the reason of her kissing Allen? She doesn't even like him.

Or does she?

Indeed, he recalled what she said about her memory loss, how Allen was a great guy and she didn't mind getting with him, or something similar. Could it be that she suddenly had a change of heart? Lavi knew this news was supposed to relieve him, but instead, it brought out the slight pang of jealousy that had silently and discreetly infested inside him.

He saw Allen scratching his head in embarrassment and then slowly, embraced her. Their arms enveloped each other's bodies and Lavi couldn't figure what the hell was going on. Perhaps it was just a friendly gesture; the red-haired guy convinced himself but thought better of it. What friend would kiss and hug you so passionately just for the sake of friendship? There was something fishy and Lavi decided to wait for Allen to leave before making his appearance.

Finally, when the white-haired boy parted and was entering a cab to get home, Lavi appeared from his hiding spot. Guilt was almost forgotten, only curiosity was lingering in him. He tried to be casual, hoping there won't be another shouting-at-each-other session yet again.

As Lenalee was going into the house, Lavi called her name from behind. Slowly, the green-haired girl turned around. He was rather surprised to see Lenalee not very shocked from his sudden appearance.

"What are you doing here?" Lenalee demanded, squinting slightly to see him better in the dark moonless night.

"I was just passing by." Lavi started nervously. When Lenalee raised her eyebrow, Lavi sighed and said, "I wanted to see you. Things weren't very smooth for us so, I wanted to make sure everything is fine."

"What do you take me for?" Lenalee strutted up to him. "A pet? I don't need a babysitter." She paused and sighed before speaking again. "This is wrong. You shouldn't be here. You should be with Chomesuke on a date. No, just," she swung her arms in desperation, "State your business and leave."

"Are you still angry at me?" Lavi asked cautiously, aware of the rage the petite and usually-friendly girl was able to throw.

"That would be an understatement." Lenalee said matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to see you and apologize. Here, for you." Lavi took the rose from his bag and gave it to Lenalee.

"It is fine." The green-haired girl said, evidently trying to be calm. "Everything is cool; I'm learning to deal with it and try not to throw my slipper at you for the moment."

There were a few moments of silence while Lavi looked at Lenalee trying to sort things out in her mind. Obviously, she wasn't over the whole drama.

"Why were you kissing Allen?" He suddenly asked, even surprising himself with his own question.

"What?"

"You were kissing Allen, I saw it." Lavi explained.

"Well, he likes me." Lenalee said.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So does that mean you can kiss him like that?" Lavi demanded. Somehow, he felt angry at Lenalee kissing someone else. "You don't like him in _that_ way, do you? You're still not over everything. Why are you doing this? You're playing with his feelings."

"You're the one to talk." Lenalee retorted coolly, taking Lavi aback. "You tried to kiss me when you _had a girlfriend_. Does that equate to anything? Does that ring some bell in your head? I'm single, and who I kiss is none of your business."

"You're…"

"Downright despicable?" Lenalee finished the sentence in a mocking tone. "Well, here's a hidden side of me you didn't know, so either you deal with it, or get out of my life. On second thought, you should already be out of life when you got me into the accident. And for your information, it'll be a matter of time before I like Allen. It's possible, you know?"

Lavi was speechless. He looked back at the girl who he was so surprised had a completely mean-girl personality. Was she really Lenalee? Before he could say anything else, she said, "And before you decide on an apology present, think twice because you should know better than to give a rose."

Without taking a second look at Lavi, Lenalee rushed back inside her house, leaving the stunned red-haired guy behind on the pathway, looking at her back view until she had disappeared.

When Lenalee had entered the house, she quickly slams the door and leaned against it. Her tears started to fall and her bitter expression gave away all signs of remorse. She knew she did the correct thing, but it feels so bad. Making Lavi hate her would make everything alright; he won't speak to her again and everything will be almost normal, she wouldn't have to deal with awkward chats with Lavi and wouldn't have to suffer as much emotional damage as she would if she accepted him once again as friends. They would never be friends again because Lenalee says so.

Lenalee knew it was a delusion but tried not to think that way. It was a delusion for a good cause, she convinced herself. It would put a stop to all these problems between Lavi and herself. She rather hurt herself like this than to put up with the lovey-dovey Lavi and Chomesuke couple for forever.

It was a sad delusion, but at least it works.

* * *

A/N: I think I'm watching too much Grey's Anatomy. The want to instill more drama into this chapter has made Lenalee very AU. But nonetheless, I hope this chapter was enjoyable to you guys!

Please review? They make us happy!


	12. Truth

**Disclaimer:** D Gray Man does not belong to me.

**A/N:** Omg... exams are nearing! Damn!

* * *

**_Chapter 12: Truth_**

Things were completely over between them. There was hardly any doubt whatever about that. She had officially yelled at him to get out and far away from her life, return to his rightful girlfriend, and declared that she likes Allen. Lenalee understood that it might be a little shocking and unbearable for Lavi to see this awful and loathsome side of her, but she had long decided that letting their complex out-of-the-ordinary relationship carry on with the mistake was not an option.

But was Lavi influenced by Lenalee's drama and settle on giving her up to Allen? Apparently not. He was convinced into thinking that she was just putting up an act to chase him away – with that real bitchy tone. Looking for the white-hair boy to clarify things to know the exact truth was what he wanted to do. He did not want to suffer the loss of a friend – or so he thought, just because of some awkward miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Reaching the doorstep of Allen's house, his hands reached for the doorbell. The crisp sound of the bell rang and echoed in his head, and he was waiting patiently for an answer to the door while organizing his thoughts about questions he had prepared to pose him with.

He started rehearsing with himself, "Okay, tell me truthfully, do you like Lenalee!" he sighed and muttered to himself. _No, that's too straightforward, no good..._

"What the hell did you do to Lenalee to make her kiss you!" he exclaimed with his back facing the door." _Oh my, that's worse!_ He hit his forehead with his palm.

Just then, a soft "I'm coming" could be heard as sound traveled through the solid wood of the locked door, and Lavi quickly turned around. The door opened, revealing the usual cheerful and friendly young man. Allen was happy to see Lavi at his doorstep, and thought he wanted to come over for a game of play station 3 as usual.

"Erm... can I come in? I have something to tell ask you," the red-haired guy asked.

"Yeah, sure." Allen replied with a smile.

The two made their way into the 2-storey bungalow, all the way up to the second floor where his room was.

"Didn't you say you had something to ask me?" the white-haired boy asked. The two of them had started settle down on the comfy bed, a normal regime that they would do when they were there together. It was there where they sat down simply to chat and laugh while battling out their guts in a game.

However, the mood was unusually tense, and Allen happened to observe Lavi rubbing his clenched fist and palm, and therefore made conclusions that he was emotionally troubled.

There's something wrong with you today, Lavi." he stated his observation. "What's wrong?"

"I..." the red-haired guy couldn't make the words out of his mouth. He turned away, his expression frowning and inhaled a deep breath of oxygen.

"Do... Do you like Lenalee?" was all he managed to stammer out.

The shy guy got a hell of a shock when he heard that, "Ho...how did you know! Was I that obvious? I've always thought about her as a normal best friend, until she lost her memory... I began to see her in a different light. She's... beautiful." His voice trailed off as her lowered his head in embarrassment in front of a senior who's better than him at matters regarding affairs of the heart.

Those words hurt Lavi's heart. It felt like a sudden huge disappointment to him, when those words that concluded that they may be really in love with each other and he has no wish to become the third party between them.

"I... I was also kind of shocked when she... you know... kissed me. Maybe, she also likes me too." Allen said in his meek voice, one that always surfaces whenever teenage love comes into the picture.

The red-haired guy beside didn't know how to react. On one hand he is praying that the two would not come together, while on the other hand he wishes for the happiness of his best friend. _What should I do now? Should I just divert the topic and start playing games with him so that we can forget everything? But that would defeat the purpose of me coming here..._ He thought deeply.

But another voice started to sound in his head, "_But why is it that I needed to come here in the first place. Since they love each other, then I should just get out and leave them alone!_"

But just as he wanted to stop thinking about the topic, Allen went, "Hey Lavi, since you have so much experience in love, can... can you give me some advice on what to do?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure." Lavi replied quite unwillingly, making sure not to express his reluctance, for that might set the ground for misunderstandings.

"Then, do you want start playing a game first?" Allen asked with courtesy, still thinking that he was here to play.

Lavi nodded and excused himself for the toilet for a while. He didn't know whether to be sad or happy for he was lying through his teeth.

They started getting on the game, and at the same time, Allen suggested for a game of truth. The game states that, whoever loses shall answer a question from the opposite party.

"Are you game for it?" Allen asked him proudly, hoping to draw him into it.

Lavi retorted, "Why not? It's you today who's going to suffer a defeat, not me."

The game started, they were playing Tekken 6, where they pressed the buttons endlessly to hit each other's character and to send them flying.

The game was coming to an end, and Lavi had more life left than Allen. But Lavi was caught off guard when he fell on the ground and Allen took the chance to deal him with one last blow that ended his life.

"I win!" the innocent-hearted boy jumped in the air waving his hands of victory.

"Hey, not fair, you cheated!" Lavi insisted as he did not want to lose and tries to wriggle his way out.

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"YES YOU DID!"

"NO I DIDN'T"

Lavi realized that he couldn't win over him and did not want to become a sore loser – one that breaks his promise and refuse to admit defeat. He therefore finally gave in, "Okay, fine, I lose. Shoot. What's your question?" he said pouting his lips in a childish manner.

Allen started to think for a while, considering whether or not he should ask the question that was supposedly awkward and embarrassing. He is actually quite sure of the truth, but just wanted to confirm Lavi's answer.

"Um…I…er…" Allen stuttered, not able to find any words to say all of a sudden when he wanted to ask him about so many things.

"You…" he started with a shaky voice. Lavi saw confusion on his face, mingled in the still and uncomfortable atmosphere. The red-haired boy expected him to demand answers about everything with his usual straightforwardness, but his presumption was wrong.

"... like Lenalee don't you?" Allen finally managed to bring those 5 words out of his mouth.

Lavi was shocked. He hadn't expected Allen to ask this question because he himself was also not sure of the truth and has been contemplating about whether or not he likes Lenalee.

After all that convincing himself of not to develop feelings for the girl and constantly reminding himself of his girlfriend Chomesuke, the reality had already been broken into by one problem that Allen posed.

"Wh...Who said so? That's impossible!" he quickly denied.

"I can tell it! You weren't that happy when I said I liked Lenalee earlier on, were you?" Allen asked confidently.

"I said no!"

"You can deceive others but you can't deceive yourself. You actually do like Lenalee but you're just unable to accept the truth because you think it would be unfair to Chomesuke." Allen said.

"Well, I admit that I do like Lenalee a little. But, I'm not sure if I like her as a friend or a girlfriend and I also feel that it's my responsibility to look after her after her accident. But anyway, she doesn't like me and told me to get out of her life." Lavi explained and poured out his feelings.

The white-haired guy replied, "I think that she likes you more than me. When she kissed me earlier on in the streets, something just didn't feel right. My eyes were open, and I could sort of notice her eyes looking in another direction behind me. It... it just didn't feel as real as what other couples normally do."

"Really? It was me who were standing behind and happened to spot you two kissing!" Lavi exclaimed.

"Aww... This feeling sucks! What the hell are girls actually thinking!" Allen vented his anger, partly due to feeling a tinge of jealousy.

"Now what? I think we have to confirm with her who it is that she really likes. She's treating us like fools now." Lavi said quite in annoyance.

Allen smiled and gave a determined nod. They decided to meet tomorrow at Lenalee's house to confront her the truth while they continue with the play station game.

On the other hand, Lenalee who is supposed to be at home, was actually not at home – but at another person's house.

That place looked like a martial arts school in the middle of the forest area, with those traditional houses surrounded in the midst of the natural environment with trees.

Inside the place sat two people on the floor, cross-legged, closing their eyes and placing their hands in lotus position on their knees like those ancient chinese dramas where they do meditation.

Those two were actually Kanda and Lenalee. After a long pause of silence, Kanda couldn't take it anymore and asked, "What are you doing here?'

"Why can't I be here?"

"You're disturbing me. You always do that whenever you face troubles in the past too." Kanda said.

"Really, I was the same before I lost my memory?" Lenalee asked, curious at the mention of her past.

"Yea, so what's your problem now?"

"Erm... I kind of like someone currently, but I did something very mean to him just now, and at the expense of another person. I feel guilty for treating them like this, but I had no choice." Lenalee said.

She was in her own thoughts when suddenly, she felt her finger wiping across her eyes. She realized that tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she wiped them away in a panic, hoping that the blue-haired man wouldn't notice.

But this time when she cried it was different. There was no one hugging and embracing her in their arms like before of what Lavi did a few time, and she understood how lonely it felt like. Okay, she had expected it. Expected of Kanda the serious guy.

"It was really wrong of you to make use of another person, but since it's already done, forget about it. Maybe you should take the time to reflect on your real feelings to both people, and confess it." Kanda said solemnly.

"Bu...but, he already has a girl...'

She was cut off by Kanda shooing her away, "Okay, that's enough. That's all the advice I can give you, go find someone else to disturb."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I think that ending was a little kind of awkward...


	13. Realizations

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: I can't believe D. Gray Man ended without a finalized finale. But never mind, I'm looking forward to the next season. I hope it airs quickly. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter! Oh, and sorry for updating so late because I was having exams.

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_**Chapter 13: Realizations**_

Lavi didn't know what to feel or think. He felt like he was being played by Lenalee. This was so ironic, considering that he was always the player in the game of love, never a pawn.

He stopped in his tracks even though his house was only a few miles away, within sight. But there was so much he needed to clarify, so much he needed to ask. Does Lenalee really love him? Would she ever forgive him for hurting her? Would Chomesuke be upset if he ever breaks up with him? He scoffed at the last question. It was obvious that Chomesuke was more than in love with him. During their dates, she had already discussed about her plans for future, how their perfect life will be perfect.

How, then, should he break the news to her? He couldn't possibly stride up and said, "Hey Chomesuke, let's break up. I don't like you anymore, I love Lenalee." The yellow-haired girl would forever hold the grudge against him.

Deciding, Lavi took out his phone and dialed the familiar number. He waited for a voice and when the phone came through, he wasn't surprised when he was greeted with a gruff "What?!"

"Hey, don't need to be so grouchy, Kanda." Lavi said jokingly.

"Well, what do you want?" Kanda replied with the same voice.

"I was wondering if I can go over to your house." Lavi said without any hesitation. "You know, meditate with you, drink tea or appreciate your dog."

"I don't have a dog."

"Dog, cat, tortoise, whatever," Lavi rolled his eyes. "But you get the drift. So, can I come over?"

"Have I any choice?" Kanda sighed over the phone.

"No, you don't." Lavi replied gleefully. "That's settles then!"

As Lavi was traveling to Kanda's house, he good-hearted bought a box of green tea cookies, knowing how much the blue-haired boy enjoy them. Besides, it would be polite to give him something since he was the one who imposed on him.

When he reached Kanda's house, the swords-player was at the door, ready to receive him. Lavi smiled inwardly; even though Kanda might not be pleasant at times, he was faithful to proprieties.

"Hello, Kanda!" Lavi called from a distance. The blue-haired guy nodded in silent acknowledgement and led his guest into his house.

Lavi never stop being fascinated by Kanda's house. It was so traditional it almost didn't exist in the 21st century. It has only one storey, all made out of tough wood of many kinds, especially bamboo. Of course, there were certain metals and cement here and there but they were often overlooked. His house was large but cozy. There were trees around the house, surrounding it with walls of nature. Like traditional houses, there was the occasional thumping sound of the bamboo hitting against a rock as the water previously in the hollow of the bamboo emptied due to its weight. Lavi was quite sure that Kanda's house could be opened to the public as an exhibit of traditional Japan houses.

"I bought you green tea cookies." Lavi handed the box to Kanda. "I know how much you like them, Yu."

A vein popped from Kanda's head but he successfully overcame the urge to hit him with a sword. "You better stop calling me that." Kanda said calmly.

"And why so?" Lavi was taken aback by his composure.

"Your life will be at stake." Kanda gestured to the wall and Lavi turned. His face paled at the sight of the many display of swords on the wall. Lavi slapped himself inwardly for forgetting that Kanda had a long lineage of famed swords-players.

Smirking satisfactorily at Lavi's expression, Kanda said, "Let's go to the meditating room. I've be meditating when you interrupted me. I can't believe I actually got out of mediation just for the sake of you two."

"Us two?" Lavi asked in a questioning expression as he followed Kanda.

"Yes, you two." Kanda responded as if not noticing his confusion. "She is still here, you know; didn't even budge when I shooed her away."

When Kanda opened the door and walked in, Lavi followed. However, he stopped just as he was taking another step.

"Well, come in." Kanda said impatiently. "Don't delay my meditation."

"Lenalee," Lavi widened his eyes in disbelief.

"La…Lavi?" The green-haired girl replied with the same shocked tone and expression. Then turning to their host, Lenalee said with a protesting tone, "Kanda, you didn't tell me La…he was coming."

"Did I need to?" Kanda said with his usual poker face, not showing any hint of guilt to Lenalee's dismay. But when the green-haired girl thought about it, he didn't have any reason to because he didn't know about the things between them. Besides, Kanda wouldn't know the boy she mentioned earlier was Lavi.

But the sight of Lavi was making Lenalee nervous and shaky. She avoided eye contact but when she briefly meets his eyes, she saw that they were looking at her.

"No, not really." Lenalee answered Kanda. The blue-haired boy nodded in response and dragged Lavi into the room. Then he sat down and places his hands on his laps, not speaking or moving anymore for that matter.

Lavi didn't know when his cue would come so he decided to play along by sitting down and copied Kanda's posture. He knew he was supposed to meditate and so he did. Surprisingly, he enjoyed the silence in the room and liked the peace in his mind. But the thought of Lenalee just a stone's throw away from him was distracting.

"Lavi, if you are not meditating, please leave." Kanda said coldly even though his eyes were still closed and not looking his way.

The red-haired boy widened his eyes, not believing his luck. It was a great opportunity to escape and so he asked, "I can do that?"

"Of course." Kanda replied.

"Then I'll help myself to your computer, is that alright?" Lavi asked carefully.

Kanda kept quiet and Lavi knew that that was a sign for him to stop speaking anymore and to get out. Just as he opened the door, he saw Lenalee stood up abruptly and declared, "I'll go out as well. Meditation isn't my cup of tea."

Being a gentleman, Lavi opened the door for the girl to exit before trailing behind her. The both of them walked to the living room in silence, not knowing what to say to each other.

"You want any drinks?" Lavi asked while taking a deep breath.

"Kanda won't mind, would he?" Lenalee asked, not looking at Lavi.

"He never minds." Lavi chuckled in reply. "So orange or apple juice?"

"Water will be fine." Lenalee said with a defeated tone and began to walk back to the living room.

"Lenalee," Lavi suddenly called from behind but the Chinese girl didn't turn around at all. "We should talk about, well, us."

"There wasn't any 'us', Lavi." Lenalee said and turned around to face him. "We never happened. We're just friends, really good friends. That's why we don't need any of this talk. It's pointless. You've chosen Chomesuke, and I'm out of your life, end of story."

"It's not end of the story." Lavi held Lenalee's arm.

"Let go of me."

"The story is still continuing. I'm continuing it. I'm writing what could possibly happen if you can just help me with it." Lavi said. Lenalee looked intently at him, as if wondering he was saying what she wanted to hear. "What are you trying to say?" She asked softly.

"I like you." Lavi said and held her shoulders. "I'll break up with Chomesuke to be with you. So please tell me you choose me instead of Allen."

"Am I interrupting something?" Kanda asked and seemingly for the first time in his life did he look confused.

"Nothing, I was planning to leave." Lavi said and turning to Lenalee, he said, "We're waiting for your choice." Then with a sudden sweep of her ground, Lenalee found herself kissing Lavi so intensely that Kanda did a 'ahem' for them to part with each other.

When Lavi left the house, Lenalee turned to Kanda and looked at him. Suddenly, he chuckled and the green-haired girl said suspiciously, "You planned this, didn't you?"

"Maybe, but then again, maybe not." Kanda faced Lenalee with a stoic expression which was slowly brightened by a smile.

"Thank you so much, Kanda." Lenalee approached her friend and hug him tightly. "I'm so grateful, I really am."

"I know you are." Kanda said and patted Lenalee's head as if she was his sister. "I know."

_Later at night…_

"Moyashi, I did it." Kanda spoke over the phone. "I did exactly what you want instructed. I think they're almost together now. But Allen, have you ever like Lenalee? Don't you feel…"

_Pause_

"I understand. Goodnight, moyashi."

* * *

A/N: So Lavi and Lenalee are almost together! Or are they really…? Well, I have no idea what yinlin56 have in mind so I don't really know. Maybe they'll really be together? Or maybe there will be a sudden twist. Well, stay tuned and hope you like this chapter.

Please review!

It feels good now that exams are over :) But I really don't want my results x(


	14. Decisions

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

**Hajimari's A/N**: Surprised to see it is Hajimari writing? Well, yinlin56 and I decided to cut the collaboration because she lost a bit of interest for writing generally. So anyway, from now onwards, I, Hajimari, would persevere and continue to write the great story of Lavi and Lenalee! yinlin56 would surely be missed by all of you so I'll be doing my best to write better than before. So please continue to read this fan fiction! Enjoy this chapter!

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_**Chapter 14: Decisions**_

Chomesuke knew something was on her boyfriend's mind throughout the whole movie in the cinema. She had been enjoying herself that night regardless of Lavi's lackadaisical reaction towards her sudden request for the date. The yellow-haired girl felt that they were spending lesser time than usual and a sweet date would make up all the lost time. Now, she wasn't so sure. Lavi didn't look like he was enjoying herself, only she was. Being bubbly and cheerful, Chomesuke could always find positive to set her sights on but tonight, that positivity was ruined as she looked at Lavi's troubled and dazed expression. There was nothing positive to be said in this scenario.

"Lavi," She nudged at his arm gently and the red-haired guy looked at her with a surprised expression. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lavi said, still not smiling.

"Lavi, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Chomesuke said comfortingly and tightened her hold on Lavi's arm.

The red-haired boy shivered inwardly. How was he to say Chomesuke was wrong for once? If only those words would come out from his mouth so fluidly and if only he had the guts to worry about the consequences later, then everything would almost be fine.

Almost.

"You know, Lavi, ever since Lenalee had amnesia, you have been spending an awful lot of time with her." Chomesuke said with a hint of sadness in her voice. Lavi wondered if the girl has a way with looking into his head. "Am I…? Do you still want me to be your girlfriend?"

Lavi stared at Chomesuke as if dreaming. Those words were ticket to Lenalee, yet there was a side of him that was not willing to hurt the wonderful girl in front of him.

"No, not anymore," Lavi found himself saying in a steady voice. He looks earnestly at Chomesuke and continued, "Let's just be friends from now on. I…"

"There is someone else, isn't there?" Chomesuke said softly, her head lowered as her bangs covered her eyes. "Is it…Lenalee?"

"Chomesuke…"

"I understand." The yellow-haired girl lifted her head and said brightly, her face lit with a seemingly unwavering smile. "If Lenalee is the only one who can make you happy, then I'll be glad to be friends with you. I'm fine, really. I'm just…" her sentence was cut short when she felt Lavi's strong arms around her petite body, embracing her warmly with a small comforting squeeze. "La…Lavi." Chomesuke whispered his name.

"Thank you, Chomesuke." Lavi said into her ear. "Thank you so much."

"No, Lavi," The yellow-haired girl said with a small smile. "Thank _you_. Thank you for loving me."

And in the silence of their embrace, Lavi could feel warm wetness on his shoulder.

----X----

The next morning in school, Lenalee found Lavi unexceptionally relaxed. He made his usual jokes about Kanda with Allen watching good-naturedly. Miranda was cramming for her history test in the library and Krory was away in another country, enjoying himself under the warm Hawaii sun. Lenalee didn't know why he was having a vacation in the middle of the school term but knowing Krory, she figured that he was probably there to study the way his family business worked. Just a few weeks ago, Krory had announced that he would be the next in line for his family business, so it was quite natural that he'd be learning to walk in his successful family's footsteps, placing his company as first priority instead of school.

Seeing the usual way of life among her friends in school made Lenalee feel good; the familiarity made her feel safe and the friendliness gladdened her.

"Seriously, Allen, why aren't you growing?" Lavi said jokingly to the white-haired boy and plopped a playful on his head as if emphasizing the difference of their height. "Have you been drinking your milk?"

"Yes, I…" Allen started to say but Kanda interrupted, "Of course not, that's why he's still a moyashi."

"What did you say?" Allen said dangerously, glaring daggers at Kanda.

"Bring it on, moyashi." Kanda said as dangerous, getting ready his sword for safe measures. Their eyes were gleaming with a ready determination to fight it out and their teeth clenched to show their toughness.

"Those guys never take a break, do they?" Lavi shake his head in defeat and Lenalee could only smile like she usually does. At the corner of their eyes, they saw Chomesuke walking with her usual group of friends.

Lenalee suddenly felt nervous at the yellow-haired girl's presence. Had they broken up already? If they did, then what was Chomesuke thinking of her? If they hadn't, then what would become of her?

She examined Lavi's face carefully when he looked at Chomesuke. Both of their eyes met and they waved at each other, flashing sincere and friendly smiles. Lenalee's heart skipped a beat and she realized that they not have broken up after all.

"I broke up with her already, Lenalee." Lavi's words jolted the green-haired girl from her reverie. She looked wide-eyed at Lavi, as if not believing her ears or his words. How could he see through her so easily? However, his handsome smile confirmed his words.

Lenalee couldn't stop the tears of joy flowing down her cheeks and for a moment, Lavi panicked, "Le…Lenalee, why are you crying?" Even Kanda and Allen stop fighting.

"What's wrong, Lenalee?" Allen asked worriedly.

"What the hell did you do again, Lavi?" Kanda said harshly.

"Nothing's wrong." Lenalee said through her tears and the others looked confused at her words. "These are just tears of joy." Finally, the three male companions heave a sigh of relief. They knew that if Komui ever knew his dear sister cried or even drop a tear, he would hold them in question. And interrogation isn't all that was going to happen.

By lunch break, everyone knew Lavi and Lenalee was a couple, much thanks to Lavi's popularity and the gossips circulating around the school by Lavi's mild-mannered fan-girls. Chomesuke also received news from her friends and she could only smile mildly at the information.

Truth to be told, she didn't want to let Lavi go, not until the end of next month. She wanted to hold him for just a month or more, but she knew that the red-haired guy wouldn't smile his usual smile for her any more now. And if he was happier with Lenalee, Chomesuke decided that this arrangement was for the best. If her sacrifice could make the person she loves happy, she would gladly make that sacrifice.

As if it was something she should do, Chomesuke walked to Lenalee's table and said, "I heard about you and Lavi. Congratulations. You'll be very happy with him. I know."

Lenalee was surprised at Chomesuke's appearance in front of her as they were never close friends to begin with, but the thought of hearing well wishes from her surprises her even more. Still, she was glad that Chomesuke was so open to the matter. From the dramas she'd been watching, the ex-girlfriend always manage to find a way for revenge. Lenalee knew she should be worrying that right now, but seeing Chomesuke's sincerity and sensing no ill-feelings, she decided that the bubbly girl really did wish her a good relationship.

"Thank you." Lenalee replied sincerely and the two shook hands, as if they were ending a war of feelings.

----X----

Kanda walked hurriedly to the cafeteria for a quick bite even though he had fifteen minutes before the next class starts. The teacher in his accounting class had delayed him and everyone just because of a single failure in his class. Kanda was seething; fancy that one failure to make him miss almost half the lunch break. The dark-haired samurai didn't look like it but he was actually pretty good with numbers. _I just can't comprehend why that idiot failed the test. It was so damn easy_, Kanda thought bitterly. But then again, it was probably all because of soba. Now, he wouldn't have enough time to eat soba and would have to settle for a sandwich instead.

Because we all know Kanda has a secret obsession with soba even if he denies it.

But even in his midst of hurrying to the cafeteria, Kanda overheard something very disturbing from which he recognized as one of Chomesuke's best friend. "Did you hear? Chomesuke has cancer."

And even if that was none of his business, Kanda felt burdened at the thought of the newly-formed couple.

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A/N: Sorry for the bad ending. I was rushing this because I really wanted to post a new chapter. So anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Please review!


	15. Selfishness

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: School's starting in a few days and it is complete havoc as I attempt to cram all my holiday homework in a few days. But anyway, I managed to find some free time to write this chapter for de-stressing myself. Because we know there can never be enough Lavi x Lenalee love, right? Enjoy this chapter! And MERRY CHRISTMAS! ^^

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_**Chapter 15: Selfishness**_

Lenalee was flustered on the happiest day of her life. The gossip Kanda had told her about almost unnerved her and suddenly, she felt guilty about getting together with Lavi.

Chomesuke has cancer. That was nothing to joke about. And from her point of view, Lenalee could somehow understand why Chomesuke was willing to give up Lavi so easily. Yesterday, the break-up had taken place and the next day, she was her normal self, happy, cheerful and bubbly. That was not normal.

"_So are you going to tell Lavi about it?"_ Lenalee recalled Kanda's words in her mind. She knew what he was trying to say: 'let Chomesuke spend her last days with someone she loves'. But Lenalee was almost seething. Doesn't Kanda realize that she had gone through so much emotional stress just to have Lavi to herself? Surely that meant something. _And besides, that rumor isn't confirmed anyway_, Lenalee thought consolingly to herself, which improved her mood just by a little.

"Hey, Lenalee," The familiar friendly voice called and Lenalee jerked from her reverie and saw Allen. Then Lenalee realized that another period had just gone by; Allen was having a free period now. He sat next to Lenalee and asked, "Aren't you having literature now?"

"The teacher is on a sick leave today." Lenalee explained and looked around the library to see people in her same class, though most of them she never spoke with. "So I'm having a free period as well."

"I see." Allen nodded in understanding and took out his notes and a notepad, ready to study like the model student he was. "Did you hear?" He asked after he just flipped his notepad.

"About what?" Lenalee asked questioningly.

"About Chomesuke," Allen said incredulously. "The rumor flew all around the school and you didn't hear it?"

"What rumor?" Lenalee asked. "What are you talking about?"

"They said that Chomesuke is migrating to Paris." Allen related the rumor. "And she already said it's true."

"That's such a shame." Lenalee spoke truthfully. "It's only a few more months until graduation. Why would she leave before then? Couldn't she at least stay until graduation? Many people will miss her."

"That's what people are saying." Allen nodded in support of her Lenalee's words. "But Chomesuke didn't say anything about it. Everyone was wondering why the sudden decision to leave but she didn't comment at all." Then, Allen brightened and said, "But she's going to Paris. Paris! It's such a great place to be; the scenery of lights, the food, the Eiffel Tower, that exotic and lovely language, everything. Chomesuke is one lucky girl."

"I guess you're right." Lenalee said with a smile and that brought the conversation to an end.

_Kanda was wrong. He must be. Chomesuke is going to have a better life in Paris. She's not having cancer. She couldn't._ Lenalee repeated those words over and over again in her head. But even after knowing that the yellow-haired girl would be enjoying her new life in Paris, Lenalee didn't feel any more relieved or happy. Something tells her she shouldn't be, and it was jealousy.

----X----

_Why do you have to leave?_

_School won't be the same without you._

_We'll miss you._

_Don't leave until graduation._

She was thankful for the comfort words. She really was, but when you realize you have an illness that was untreatable, you'll think that those words are useless, merely fabricated to bring joy and comfort that never last. Chomesuke was never upset or unhappy in front of people, and the bubbly girl made sure it stayed that way. Even now, when she felt a huge urge to cry – over Lavi and over her cancer – she continued to smile in front of her friends and everyone.

_She has only one more month to live._

If only those words were meant for April Fools'.

Chomesuke had practically skipped every lesson of that day since lunch break, since congratulating Lenalee in her relationship with Lavi. Seeing the red-haired boy who once loved her felt painful, especially when she knew her time with him was over. She wanted to ask him to go to Paris with her, just for a month. But Chomesuke knew that request was selfish, even if she'd provide Lavi his ticket to and fro from Paris.

Now as she stood on the school's rooftop, Chomesuke wondered why she missed the wonderful view over so many smaller buildings below, and why she'd never seen the beauty in the amber leaves of autumn in her sixteen years of life.

Suddenly, Chomesuke heard soft footsteps and immediately turned around. Her eyes widened with surprise and her expression softened at the sight of Lavi.

"What are you doing here?" Chomesuke asked cheerfully. It wasn't a façade at that moment; she was really glad and happy to see Lavi.

"I heard about you leaving for Paris." Lavi started.

"The rumors and gossips in this school spread fast; I know that." Chomesuke said with a soft giggle. Then she looked at Lavi, "It's that all you want to tell me? You know I'm leaving? That's it?" If Lavi had listened more closely, he would have sense the disappointment in her voice. But he didn't.

"I'm just surprised at the sudden decision."

"It wasn't very sudden." Chomesuke confessed. "It was decided a month ago. I just didn't tell you. I didn't tell anyone at all until today."

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?" Lavi spoke with a subtly unpleased tone. "We were still a couple at that point of time, you could've told me."

"It doesn't matter, does it?" Chomesuke replied nonchalantly even while maintaining the smile on her face.

"So when are you leaving?" Lavi asked neutrally, just like how a friend should sound like.

"Next week."

"I just want you to know, everyone will miss you a lot." Lavi said.

"I will miss everyone as well." Chomesuke said with a small smile. Then turning away from Lavi, she added with a soft voice, "So, so much."

----X----

"You're not going to tell Lavi about Chomesuke having cancer, are you?" Kanda said.

"There's nothing to tell." Lenalee said with forceful cheer. "You must have heard it wrongly. Besides, if she does have cancer, wouldn't that get around the school by now?"

"That's true," Kanda said with a thoughtful nod though his expression still showed doubt. "I guess this was a mistake on my part."

"I hope it was." Lenalee muttered softly to herself.

"But even if Chomesuke doesn't have cancer," Kanda looked intently at Lenalee. "Don't you think she'll need Lavi more than you for the time-being?"

"Yeah, I do." Lenalee said slowly. "But throwing her a party would be awkward. We're not that close to her anyway, even though I think she is really nice."

"I'm not talking about that." Kanda said coldly and Lenalee felt his gaze searching her eyes, sending a tingle down her spine.

"Huh?"

"He needs to know." Kanda seemingly ignored Lenalee's question. "Lavi needs to know the truth. He needs to know that you're well, that you have no amnesia to start with."

"What...what are you talking about?" Lenalee said even though her voice was stuttering. "I was in the hospital before. I'm getting better but that's no reason to..." Then she stopped her sentence midway when she saw the scarlet-red notebook Kanda was holding out. Her eyes widened with shock and without knowing, she was already trembling.

"This is yours." Kanda said and Lenalee looked at him, shocked at the thick plainly-designed crimson notebook in his hand. "I thought it was my book, but it wasn't. And neither was I expecting it to be your diary." Kanda explained. "I accidentally read a bit off it. But trust me, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I wanted to return it to you when you're alone, so I can ask you about your amnesia. Lenalee, why did you lie?"

"I wanted Lavi." Lenalee said as she lowered her head and her bangs casted a shadow over her eyes. "You don't understand anything at all!"

And then she ran off without claiming her diary.

----X----

"What is this?" Komui asked fearfully as he poked his dinner of burnt fried rice with his spoon.

"Just eat it." Lenalee ordered and Komui cringed at his sister's firm voice. He looked at the side dishes of salad and half-boiled eggs. At least they looked fine, even though they were weird side dishes, they looked fine.

"So, what happened?" Komui asked as he squeezed the thousand-island sauce into his salad. "I know my sister doesn't usually mess up dinner."

"I…" Lenalee began but stopped. How could she put this? Then with a more determined resolution to uphold her integrity, she said, "Onii-chan, I lied about my amnesia. I'm very, very sorry." Then she closed her eyes, fearful for Komui's reaction towards the news. "Are you angry?"

There was silence at first but later, Lenalee felt a hand patting her head. The green-haired girl took a peek at her brother and realized that he was smiling. "Onii-chan," Lenalee said questioningly, "You're supposed to be scolding me and ask 'how could you', or something like that."

"How could I do that to my beloved sister?" Komui said and smiled affectionately at Lenalee. He sighed softly and said, "I already knew that you didn't have amnesia. I was just thinking when you might own it up."

"O-Onii-chan," Lenalee looked wide-eyed at Komui. "How did you know?"

"You're my little sister," Komui pointed out and gave a deep chuckle. "How could I not know what's going through that head of yours?"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would have…" She actually didn't know what she will do.

"I guess I was taking the realize-it-yourself approach. And if you ever lie about such things, there must be a good reason." Komui said. "So, what makes you confess?"

"Kanda accidentally read my diary." Lenalee explained.

"That tells it all." Komui nodded with understanding. Then with a firmer expression, he continued, "Are you going to tell Lavi and all your friends?"

Lenalee thought for a while, and then with a straight face, she said, "I don't know."

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

See that green button below that says 'REVIEW'? Click it! :)

ENJOY YOUR CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! :D


	16. Gone

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: Honestly, I haven't been in a mood for writing but I'll still be continuing this story because I would hate to disappoint those who truly like this story. So enjoy!

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_**Chapter 16: Gone**_

The skies were turning grey, a storm no doubt imminent. How appropriate, it absolutely highlighted Lenalee's feelings well and very much clear. Inner struggles, how she hates them. But she knew only that makes them human. She was selfish and she knew, not at all proud for this character trait of hers. Then again, everyone is selfish once in a while, and that, too, makes them human. Yet at the same time, selfishness are what makes human inhumane.

Her steps were silent in the dark hallway, yet they were heavy with guilt and worry. The rain suddenly poured outside, making Lenalee feeling worse. She should be happy because Lavi was going to walk her home after his basketball training. She knew she had to wait, not because the rain was not affecting the indoor sports hall, but the things she need to tell him and the truths she need to confess to.

She was scared, scared that Lavi will leave her once he finds out about her lie. Without him, life would be as banal as before. Lenalee turned at the curve, her legs bringing her to the path she seemed so familiar and unfamiliar with. The hallway was dim and frighteningly creepy because there wasn't anyone. They had all gone home, and Lenalee knew she would be one of the fortunate ones soon, the ones free of guilt. _No one is ever free of guilt_, Lenalee told herself bitterly.

Through the half closed door of the indoor sports hall, Lenalee could hear the squeaks produced from the friction between shoes and the polished floor. She took a peek and saw Lavi running past the court, his face glittered with beads of perspiration that were partly absorbed with the headband he wears.

"Alright, training ends here for today!" She could hear the distinguished bark of the basketball coach. "You weaklings better train more. You look like half-dead snails out there! You're dismissed!"

Daringly, Lenalee opened the door fully, walking to where Lavi was wiping his face with a towel and downing mouthfuls of water from his bottle. "Lavi," she greeted him as he looked up to face her. "Hey," Lavi said cheerfully and his teammates whistled at the affectionate lovey-dovey atmosphere they were setting.

"Shut up." Lavi mumbled to his teammates and they kept quiet at once, though it was only clear that their silence were due to unsuccessful suppressions of laughter. "Wait for me here." Lavi told her as he was ready to walk away into the locker room. "I'll be done in a minute."

Lenalee nodded her head understandingly and sat down on the benches. She looked around the sports hall and couldn't help but feel a bit lonely in the big and soulless hall. She recalled that it was here she had first fell in love with the drop-dead gorgeous red-haired MVP, attracted to his graceful movements and the serious look on his face when he concentrated hundred-percent on the ball. Then, her love deepened when she was introduced personally to him by Allen, who had been a long-time friend of him. His gentleman manners and humor impressed her and she wanted him.

"Lenalee, let's go now." Lavi's voice prompted Lenalee to look up at him. Her lips curled into a smile when she saw him, joy and gladness bursting from within like the first time he really kissed her. She quickly stood up and held onto his arm, loving the warmth he was radiating.

As they journeyed through the hallway, Lenalee heart kept pounding, fear and worry welling inside her once again. She was determined to be truthful about everything, yet fearful of the consequences. He could leave her and go to Paris with Chomesuke then return to abandon her, break up with her and ignore her the next time they meet at the lockers. But she knew he wasn't heartless, or she hoped that he was less heartless than she thought he is. Truth and honesty can bring out the worst in humans, and then most probably, suffering would follow.

"Lenalee?" She felt a hand on her shoulder which broke her reverie and jerked her away from her thoughts. She looked hastily at Lavi with a questioning look. "Yes?" Lavi scratched his head and said, "You look troubled; penny for your thoughts?"

"I don't really know." She leaned her body softly onto Lavi, comforted by his mere presence. Should she tell him? Besides, honesty is the best policy, right? So why didn't she think so? Would he forgive her? Would he leave her? So many unanswered questions ran through her mind and as every second passed, Lenalee felt more and more burdened, waves of guilt rushing in her chest.

The previously pink and orange coloured skies were turning into a darker shade of blue and along the street they were walking on, lamplights were being lit one by one like an organized troop of soldiers saluting them as they walk past. The dull concrete walls seemed to be alive again, the illuminated path glorious, leaving the other dark areas insignificant even though they served the same purpose.

"Lavi," Lenalee took a deep breath and held his arm strongly, willing him to stop.

"Lenalee?"

"I think Chomesuke has cancer." Lenalee said everything in one breath. She dared to look at Lavi, only to see his green eyes widen, his mind registering to the startling news. His knuckles were balled into fists but he released them later. His words came out trembling and uncertain, "You're kidding, right? Chomesuke has always been in the pink of health. Are…are you certain? Where did you hear it from?"

"Kanda told me that he overheard her friends saying that." Lenalee's voice came out unexpectedly timid but it didn't matter. She glanced up at Lavi's face and saw his face paled, shock written all over his face. Inhaling deeply, she continued bravely, "Chomesuke is going to Paris, to die."

Lenalee lowered her head and looked down at the floor. She could feel bitterness welling in her chest. Chomesuke wasn't a bad person and it definitely hurt to know that someone is dying, even if she was Lavi's ex-girlfriend.

"Lenalee,"

"Yes?"

"Can you go home without me?" Lavi walked towards Lenalee, his eyes emotionless and his face expressionless. "I need to go to Chomesuke, right now."

Even without an answer, Lavi walked away without a kiss or a hug for Lenalee. The green-haired girl was a little shocked and sad. _I knew this would happen, so why did I tell him?_ Lenalee thought desperately, half-regretting her honesty. Not moving, she watched Lavi's back as he walked away. She tried to swallow the bitterness and sadness that was accumulating in her throat, her heart pounding in fear, fear of Lavi leaving her for good.

"Lavi!" Lenalee half-lurched and half-ran towards the red-haired boy. She grabbed his body from behind, holding him close to her yet not feeling any heat radiating from him. "Don't go, Lavi." She pleaded, her voice trembling as if she was going to cry soon. "You can't return to Chomesuke. Please, stay with me."

When she felt his hands holding onto hers, Lenalee thought for a joyful that he was giving in to her request. But her heart fell when he dropped her arms by his sides. Not looking back, he said, "Chomesuke needs me. I have chosen a bad time to leave her side. So now, I have to go back to her."

"Go on, then." Lenalee backed a few steps from Lavi. She knew that this was something she must do even though it hurt her deeply. _If I am the old helpful Lenalee, then I'll be able to do this much, for Chomesuke_, she thought and held back her tears until Lavi vanished from her sight.

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A/N: Kind of grim but don't worry, Lavi and Lenalee will be together eventually. Hope you enjoyed it!

Please review!


	17. Guiltless

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: Enjoy! 3 more chapters until the end so I'll be writing better.

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**_Chapter 17: Guiltless_**

Kanda didn't know why he was doing this except the fact that he was doing to do a supposedly a "good" deed. He stood in front of the house where he'd never been or seen and his hand shook uncharacteristically as he lifted his hand to press the doorbell.

"Coming!" The familiar voice rang in his ears from the inside of the house, confirming that it wasn't a stranger's house after all.

Still, he wondered why he'd even agree to do this in the first place. _For Lenalee_, he reminded himself. Rolling his eyes, he wondered when he had been so obliging to the green-haired girl. Obviously, the sister image he found in her had nearly leveled to Komui's, although he knew he'll be dead meat if he announced this fact.

Almost an hour ago, he had received a phone call from Lenalee to tell Chomesuke of her awful lie. He couldn't say he was surprised for her honesty, but he never thought she'll own up so soon. She wanted Lavi to go away with Chomesuke to Paris for her final days, but she admitted she had a nagging feeling he won't complied for the sake of everything precious to him here, especially since she knew that Lavi still love her despite Chomesuke's predicament.

_If Lavi knew I lied, he'll most probably go to Paris with Chomesuke. That's a good thing, right?_

Even amidst the joy and nonchalance in her voice, he could sense and feel the sad bitterness behind it. She was obviously clutching onto her final tendrils of her conscience just in case those break from her, as well as pity gnawing at her. She was brave, but maybe, she was too brave for her own good.

"Kanda!" Chomesuke greeted heartily despite them being almost complete strangers. "What brings you here?" Readily, she welcomed him into the house but saw him hesitating. With a questioning look, she repeated straightforwardly, "What brings you here?"

Gulping a huge breath of air down his throat, he began to spill everything, everything in almost a breath; because he knew he would hesitate if he stopped. After the whole tale has been told and Chomesuke's face worked up a surprised expression, Kanda felt a renewed sympathy and respect for Lenalee.

It was worth it. If only Kanda can convince himself to think so too.

---------X---------

Lavi knocked frantically at Chomesuke's door when there wasn't any response. He knew that her parents were often out of town and she was often alone. What if she fell and hurt herself? What if she was experiencing any pain from the heartless cancer that she kept almost a secret? "Chomesuke," He shouted loudly, his heart pounding with a strong urge to see his friend, "Open up!"

Just as he was beginning to pound another time, the door opened and he saw the familiar yellow-haired girl rubbing her eyes sleepily while looking at him, surprised. "Lavi," she said with a surprised smile, "What are you doing here? It's quite late, you know."

"You have been sleeping." Lavi noted, relieved at seeing Chomesuke fine and well; for now. Then with a playful voice, he asked, "Aren't you going to welcome me into the house?"

"No, I'm leaving you out in the bitter cold of the night." The yellow-haired girl said sarcastically and giggled at Lavi's feigned shocked expression. "Don't be stupid," she stepped aside the door and gestured, "Come inside."

When Lavi stepped into the room, the place almost immediately lit up with life for Chomesuke. As she followed him closely behind, she was looking dreamily at his back, wishing she could ruffle with his red tufts of spiky hair. But she frowned when she thought of the realistic. He wasn't hers and never will be ever again.

"So anyway," Lavi quickly turned around to face Chomesuke, who quickly wiped the wistful looks. His tone was grave as he said, "Lenalee said you have cancer."

Chomesuke couldn't be get anymore shocked. How did he know when everything has been so hush-hushed about her leaving? Well, only the leaving for Paris part was openly announced but that had been necessary since any departures need an explanation. "Who did you heard it from?" she said with a tryingly light voice hinted of not-so-hidden humor, "It's completely ridiculous."

"Lenalee told me." Lavi explained. "Kanda had overheard your friends and told her."

_Darn_, Chomesuke cursed mentally. How could she ever trust those sucker-ups of friends to begin with? But most of all, she was confused by the fact that Lenalee had told him. Who in the right mind would tell their boyfriends their ex has cancer or whatever? Hadn't the thought of him leaving her occurred to him? She suddenly remembered Lenalee's words related by Kanda and there was a jerk on her heartstring. How could there be such a selfless person at this age and century?

_Tell Lavi she lied. This didn't come from me, it came from Lenalee._

Those had been Kanda's words exactly. But how could she bear to, after knowing Lenalee was so self-sacrificial? Deciding to play safe, she tried to test the waters first.

"I do indeed have cancer." Her voice said with an involuntary slight tremble, as if she didn't want to believe it despite the results months ago. The thought of admitting she was dying was horrible. "What would you have done if you knew? Would you have followed me to Paris, to be there by my side until my final moment?" she asked quietly.

That shocked him and Chomesuke thought sadly that that wouldn't be the case. He had – she, too – so much here which he would refuse to leave behind, not even for her.

"I wouldn't." He confessed and that confession torn her heart to bits.

"Will you now?" Chomesuke tried again but saw the hesitant in his eyes, silently pleading her not to say such harsh words again. Finally, she added, "Will you once you find out Lenalee have no amnesia at all?"

Lavi only stared at her, agape. He didn't know what to think. Lenalee didn't have amnesia? She had been lying all along? "No," Lavi muttered to himself in disbelief. It was impossible to digest the possibility of the sweet honest girl lying to him, and especially him. Chomesuke stood there without a word as she witnessed the maelstrom of emotions stirring within him. She knew it was ruthless and hurtful, but Lenalee said that she could spill the beans and she was doing exactly that.

"That's not true." Lavi tried to say with a strong voice that ultimately failed. "Lenalee never lie, at least, not to me."

"She did." Chomesuke said softly. "This time, she did."

"Who told you?"

"Kanda," She answered, "He told me Lenalee had sent him to tell me the truth." Seeing Lavi unresponsive, she continued, "I really hope you can be by my side, just like how you did for Lenalee. At that time, you helped her as a friend, so can you do that for me as well? For a friend?"

"When is the flight?"

"Next week." Chomesuke answered, trying to contain the guilty joy within her.

"Is it possible to move it forward? Like, tomorrow?" He asked with the same forlorn expression and defeated voice.

"Of course," Chomesuke said. "Rest assured we'll be off to Paris by tomorrow." Then embracing Lavi mindlessly, she said with a happy voice, "You have no idea how much this means to me."

If only Lavi could figure it out.

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A/N: Please review~!


	18. Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: This is a filler chapter but please enjoy nonetheless.

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_ **Chapter 18: Memories**_

Lenalee met Lavi when she was eight, when she transferred into this new town with her family consisting of an overprotective brother and two rarely present parents. On her first day of school, she had been lonely without any friends. Komui was nervous about Lenalee being alone and even offered to skip his first day of school to accompany her (he studied in another school because he was older), just like what a loving parent does. But being a considerate kid, Lenalee had refused his company, and only came to regret a little when she sat alone at an empty lunch table, looking at the other tables full of friends chatting and laughing. Just as she confirmed herself as a pathetic little friendless soul of a loser, a hand reached out to her.

The dark-haired girl looked up, and saw a boy with red hair, bright emerald eyes and a playful yet sincere smile on his lips.

"Hello." The boy said.

"Hi."

"I was wondering if you would like to sit with us." He told her, and gestured to the table opposite hers where another three friends sat. They saw her looking and waved good-naturedly.

"Sure." Lenalee quickly accepted his offer. It was amazing to be approached and accepted, but what was more wonderful was that the boy in front of her was totally cute. She took her tray and followed the boy to the table. As they walked to the table, she couldn't help but ask in a soft and hesitant tone, "May I know your name?"

"You can me Lavi." He answered. "And you?"

"Lenalee." She answered.

"That's a nice name." Lavi complimented. "It's unique. I've never heard of a name like that. It's really pretty, your name, that is."

Lenalee's cheeks became a deep crimson as she heard his compliment. Her heart gave a leap and she wondered excitedly, _am I falling in love?_ She knew it was one thing to have a crush on male idols but this was completely different.

When they reached the table, Lenalee was introduced to the other friends: Kanda, Allen and Krory. She was initially intimidated at the absence of a female friend, but Allen proved to be someone friendly and understanding that she felt at ease with the white-haired boy. Kanda acted rather hostile, but when he gave her a piece of sushi Lenalee had been eyeing, her opinion of him changed quite drastically. Krory was the oldest, and yet, he leaned rather closely to Allen.

That day was the best day for her since she reached this new place. With friends like these, she was sure she wouldn't go anywhere at all. She enjoyed the jokes Lavi was telling, the friendly (though quite violent) bickers between Kanda and Allen which Krory always had to break up, and the way Lavi joked so mercilessly about Allen's size.

Suddenly, a girl came to the table and stood next to Lavi. She had yellow hair that was tied into two perfect ponytails, bright eyes and a cheery smile that was sure to brighten anyone's day. Lenalee saw her handing a chocolate to Lavi and felt an instant jealousy.

"Who is she?" Lenalee asked Allen in a near whisper.

"Chomesuke," He answered mildly. "She's like the most popular girl in school."

Lenalee took in this information and didn't find it hard to believe. With a cheerful aura emitting from her small body, it came as no surprise that she was a lovable person who gains almost everyone's attention.

She noticed the smile she was beaming to Lavi and the way Lavi acts all shy and mild-mannered with her, so completely different when he was jesting around at the table, making fun of Allen and sometimes even Kanda. Lenalee felt a mutual understanding between the two friends and wondered if there was something more.

When Chomesuke walked away, Allen immediately exclaimed, "Lavi, she totally likes you!"

"I have to agree with puny tot." Kanda nodded.

"Who's the puny tot here?!" Allen burst angrily and glared at the dark-haired boy.

"Do I need to spell it out, carrot-head?" Kanda said calmly, a rare trait for a young child.

"Don't think you're so tough with your sword-wielding crap. You're years far off from defeating the karate champion." Allen mocked and gestured proudly to himself.

Finally, Kanda snapped and banged angrily at the table, "Pur-lease, I'm stronger than you. Not to mention your standard of karate is black belt JUNIOR! And you don't even look like a junior; you look like a toddler."

"What did you say?!" Allen growled angrily and the two children started to glare daggers at each other, throwing food at each other, not thinking about the mess they'll create.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Lenalee said a little fearfully as she sensed the frightening dark auras surrounding her two new friends.

"They'll cool off soon." Lavi assured her. "Though Allen really touched Kanda's nerve this time. He should know that Kanda cannot stand losing when comparing who's stronger."

"Won't the teachers come?"

"They're used to them." Lavi answered with a defeated sigh. He patted Lenalee's shoulder and said with a smile, "Don't worry, Lenalee. Things aren't as bad as they look like; it's more of a comical relief."

Lenalee looked at the angry Kanda and Allen, thinking deeply. This was comical relief? Clearly, 'comical' in Lavi's vocabulary was sadistic.

Maybe in time, she will enjoy this too.

----X----

15-year-old Lenalee didn't know what to feel. She expected Lavi to follow Chomesuke to Paris and he did, but not straightaway. The news of the ex-couple's departure spread through the school like wildfire. What enraged her most was the fact that people were pitying her for was the absence of Lavi. They didn't break up for sure and outsiders to this relationship were already taking the matter into their own hands. Then again, they may have broken up, Lenalee wasn't too sure. The quick and sudden departure proved something.

But despite everything, Lenalee felt freer than she had ever been, lighter than she used to feel. Sure, the sadness was overwhelming but she was slightly cheered up when she remembered that Chomesuke would feel fulfilled when her time has passed. It was all for a good cause. It was worth it. Fulfilling someone else's wishes supposedly made everything better.

Yeah, right. Who was she lying to?

"Is something wrong?" Allen asked when he saw the listless Lenalee playing at her food.

_No, duh, obviously!_ Lenalee wanted to blurt out. Instead, she said politely, "Of course not. I'm sorry for worrying you." Then when she caught Kanda looking at her, she asked, "Is there something on my face?"

"Nothing," Kanda quickly returned to his soba, not really taking in the taste of the noodles.

Why was Lenalee so strong? Why couldn't she display her weakness? Maybe she was too proud to do so, Kanda concluded as he glanced at Lenalee once in a while, noting her cheerfulness as she talked to Allen.

_Maybe this is a way of her dealing_, Kanda thought with unsatisfied mental snort.

If only he could be this strong like her.

* * *

A/N: Not much development but I promise the next chapter will be better!

Please review!


	19. Believe

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: I'm so happy that you guys reviewed and I really appreciate it. Life's been rotten and the fact that I'm still at the computer, writing stories when my exams are three days away isn't helping.

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**_Chapter 19: Believe_**

Lavi now know why Paris was named the "City of Lights". The title suited the bright capital well and Lavi was impressed. But again, being bright and cheery wasn't really a good thing, he decided bitterly. Because of the artificial lights, the stars couldn't be seen, and natural beautiful that nature offered disappeared behind the clouds. Nobody cared about the substance anymore; it was all about the beauty.

"Lavi,"

That was all that was needed for Lavi to look away from the iridescence of the city. He turned to look at Chomesuke. She was getting weaker everyday and her smile, no matter how bright it was, showed her weakness. The apartment her parents rented for her was compact, comfortable. They hadn't been there but kept promising they will. Chomesuke confided in Lavi that they never did.

"You really should eat the medicine the doctor prescribed." Lavi advised and sat with her on the couch, rounding his arms around her shoulders to give a friendly embrace, the type between friends.

"I don't want to." She answered with a weak voice. Her eyes were half-opened and she laid her weight fully on Lavi, loving the warmth he radiated and the gentleness he exuded. Her nose was suddenly stung with sourness, and she realized that she wanted to cry. She was too young to die. She hasn't fulfilled her dreams and accomplished her to-do list, which was a long one.

"If you don't eat them, you'll be…" Lavi didn't end the sentence. None of them did.

"I'm sure people in the past dealt." Chomesuke said.

"They didn't end up good." Lavi pointed out.

"Still, they dealt. That's the hardest part of all; harder than death."

They kept quiet and looked out at the view of Paris through the full-window pane. Even though it was late, there were still patches of light somewhere. They didn't switch off, and they wouldn't until morning came.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but to them, it felt weird. They were both chatty persons, and now the lack of topic made them doubtful. Will they survive this day? Will things be alright?

"Lavi,"

"Yes?"

"Lenalee loves you. You know that."

Lavi pursed his lips. He was angry at her at first. It felt like she was giving him away, reminding him how he was just 'Lavi', someone to be given away and taken back. But he got matured and was reminded of her kindness. He felt her hesitation and sadness when she told him the truth. Those things weren't worth to be angry about but he did, childishly. Now, he was through, done with hating and back to loving. He pulled Chomesuke closer, substituting her with Lenalee for the moment. Now, he would want her in front of him, kiss her and tell her he forgive her, and love her, a lot.

"I know." He replied. "I know that. It was a difficult lie and a difficult truth, but she confessed. She is brave and kind; too kind for her own good."

"She's…someone I'll never be." Chomesuke said with difficulty, tears sliding down her cheek and they came in torrents. Like screaming to beyond the sea, she felt her sadness assuaging as she cried, as if her misery dissolved in her tears and expelled.

"No, she's someone nobody can be." Lavi corrected her. He felt her clutch on him relaxing when he patted on her back, but the tears failed to cease.

"I'm afraid of dying." Chomesuke admitted bitterly, half-laughing at her cowardice. "Each day, I hope the doctor who gives me scans will find nothing in those films. He would repeat them and find nothing still. Then he'll declare I was misdiagnosed and I'll be free of cancer, back to where my friends are."

"That can happen. You just have to hope." Lavi squeezed her hand.

"I rather not hope." Chomesuke laughed. "Hoping never happens."

"Sometimes they do."

"One in a million cases, yes, then I guess it happens."

Silence grew between them again. They each spotted little lights beneath them going out, although they never say it. The comfort came little by little, wondering what had happened to cause them to switch off their lights, to turn away from 'happiness' and 'brightness'. Perhaps they weren't the only ones who had problems, problems as dark as theirs.

"You know I still love you, Lavi."

"Yes," Lavi said, continuing to look out at the city, "I know."

"You'll go back when I die, wouldn't you?"

"Please…"

"And you'll live as you did, right?"

"Chomesuke…"

"Answer me."

A pause.

"Yes."

"Then I'm glad." Chomesuke heaved a sigh of relief, all her worries allayed. "At least, I have something to believe in."

"And what's that?"

"You."

Lavi chuckled. "I'm feeling pressure."

"You should be." Chomesuke replied. "Everyone's got to face pressure once in a while. It's just depends how long their 'once in a while' last."

They slept a bit against each other, using each other as a pillar of support. If one of them fell, the other will follow. They had a bond which was called 'friendship'. It wouldn't break. At least, not until one of them cease to exist. Then that bond will disappear into thin air, as if nothing was there in the first place. Even if they remember, the remains would leave them doubtful, and again, they will eventually forget, thinking they were just random fragments of memories that never existed. They both knew this and held on to false hope, something to believe in. They needed to believe, if not, they'll fall, and they'll fall hard. No help would be given despite the help offered.

Then morning came with what people called 'hope' or 'a new day'. They were all lies, Lavi decided, for everything that happened the days, weeks, months and years before will follow up to their lives, haunt them if need to be. Regrets will deepen and scars will become wider. And even when all is well, there will always be a remainder to remind them of their mistakes, their actions that cost.

"Another day, another scan," Chomesuke said with sarcasm and fake optimism.

And this time, Lavi didn't ask her to hope.

----X----

Three weeks after Lavi's absence, Lenalee's melancholy was beginning to be felt by friends around her. Her usual euphoric self suddenly shrunk and all that was left was someone who was lost and acquiesced, never trusting herself to make decisions or answer questions.

Kanda felt her pain and understood by not talking about the matter. Contrasting help and worsening matters, what he did was help. Even though Allen was against him, he ran out of ideas as well.

_Damn you, Lavi!_ Allen thought every time he sees Lenalee with fake smiles and false joy. She deserves to be happy but she wasn't. He knew Lavi would return but things will still be different. They may become awkward in each other's presence, and then Lenalee's heart will wrench and she would run to the washroom and vent.

"Allen," Lenalee touched his arm gently and whispered worriedly to avoid being heard by the teacher, "Are you spacing out again?"

Allen jerked and wanted to scream at her, request her or even beg her to admit her own problems, to tell them so she will feel better. He didn't mind her confessions on how much she misses Lavi, how much she loves him and how she feels guilty of not regretting her actions, because she doesn't. He was willing to put up with them despite the hurt he feels in his heart. Despite everything and her coupling with Lavi, he still loves her and cares.

He looked at Lenalee with a soft expression and shook his head reluctantly. "Nothing," he said with a smile that seemed to reassure her.

"That's good." Lenalee said with gladness and continued to face the front, her eyes boring on the teacher who was rambling passionately about the joy of Midsummer Night's Dream and the charm of Shakespeare's literature. She didn't care about literature but listened anyway because an F on her report card was unpardonable.

_Talk to her_, Allen's inner voice urged. No matter how hard he ignored that little voice, the obdurateness of it was persistent. He didn't want to let the matter rest. Lenalee deserves happiness.

Fishing out a scrape paper from his file, some silly notice distributed by the school, he reached for his pen and wrote fluidly on the paper. Folding it in intricate folds that secured it, he passed it to Lenalee. She received it with a surprised look on her face, and then shot a questioning look at Allen.

By this time, the teacher had spotted their silent communication and singled them out and once again, drawling on how literature should not be taken lightly and of how each word in the text was a treasure beyond fortune.

As if anyone really cares.

When the bell rang, to everyone's relief, the students headed for the door to escape the gulag that held them back from their freedom. As if in silent agreement, Allen and Lenalee walked together to the courtyard kept by the eco-club.

That place evoked bitter and longing memories for Lenalee as she remembered it was here where she declared her hatred towards Lavi, where before she regained her memory, she denied her love for him. Now, it seemed yet another place where there was no place for happiness. If only hope can sprout from the young seeds of the hibiscus or whatever they are. If only she can be promised happiness or a moment of denial here, then she wouldn't mind reliving the bitterness left behind from the last time and even now. Those few moments were worth the acrimonious reminiscence.

Lenalee inhaled the spicy and sweet scents exuding from the spectrum of plants and spices. They brought her into a temporary heaven she created herself under false pretenses. Hearing the shuffling of feet behind her, Lenalee was violently pulled away from her heaven and the reality hit her hard again.

Remembering the note from Allen, she took it out frolm her pocket and unfolded it carefully. She stared at the words: _Let's talk._

"What did you want to talk about?" Lenalee asked; her voice no longer happy but icy and cold.

"You know what." Allen answered.

"Lavi…he won't be coming back to me. I'm still trying to accept that fact." Lenalee confessed. Those words pierced her heart and the hurt was clearly displayed in her voice. "Just give me more time, I will…" She paused when she felt Allen embracing her from behind. "Allen?" Lenalee froze, now strangely fully aware of his body against her, his strong arms holding her and his face resting on the back her head.

For once, she noticed him completely, not as a friend but a potential lover to his destined one, whoever they may be.

Maybe, she was her, Lenalee.

Allen held her chin gently and motioned her to turn to him, which she did. Their lips met for a brief second before Allen turned her around completely. He pressed his lips harder on Lenalee, who neither respond nor stop.

Slowly, Allen felt her holding him, slowly responding to his kiss. Was she imagining him to be Lavi? Was she really considering him? Her kiss was hard and urgent, as if she was trying worm something out of the kiss desperately. Her mind was suddenly a blank abyss where she was sinking, falling.

Suddenly, Lavi's face came into her mind. He smiled at her and welcomed her into his embrace with open arms. He didn't wear his bandana so his hair covered his face partially on the side where he wore the eye-patch. His smile was bright and his face ardent with love and happiness, just because he was with her. She could feel him reaching out for her but she wasn't moving towards him.

_Move._

Slowly, her limbs moved. Her legs began to walk towards him and her pace gradually quicken. Soon, she found herself running towards him, desperate for him.

_Lenalee._

The voice of him calling her name warmed her heart. And suddenly, that heaven disappeared and she was conscious again. She widened her eyes and pushed Allen away. Lenalee panted to regain her breaths from the kiss. She didn't dare to look at Allen, for fear she would see his pained expression from the rejection, just as how she had felt sometime ago when Lavi was still here.

"I'm…"

"Sorry," Allen interjected.

"What?"

"You're sorry, I know that." Allen chuckled. Lenalee looked up and instead of facing a frown and a sad face, she saw him smiling. "It is okay, Lenalee." Allen said. "I'm sorry too. I know you won't love me but I wanted to try. For once, I wanted to be this close to you. I took my chance, and, I think I did okay."

Without a word, Lenalee reached out for him and hugged him. It was friendly hug and Allen knew it.

"Thank you, Allen." She whispered.

"I think that's enough." Allen took her arms away from and smiled, "I'm a guy after all. I shouldn't be all emotional like a girl."

"Guys who are emotional are brave people." Lenalee complimented.

"Thanks." Allen replied. Then he glanced at his watch and said, "I need to go now. I have errands to run."

"Goodbye." Lenalee bade him goodbye and watched him leave too desperately.

When he was out of sight, her smile faltered again. She breathed in the scents of the courtyard again and she felt that the bitterness from before wasn't so bitter anymore. For the first time since Lavi left, she breathed. The sweet and spicy air filled her lungs as she breathed deeply.

Amidst her newfound heaven and euphoria, there was only one more thorn left. It would fade away, hopefully, soon.

She knew somewhere out there, Allen was letting his tears run free.

And true to her thoughts, Allen was somewhere, crying.

* * *

A/N: Yes, this is the second last chapter. You may think that there won't be any Lenalee and Lavi moments but you'll be surprised in the next and last chapter. So stay tuned!

Please review!


	20. Near

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.

A/N: Here is the final chapter. Please enjoy!

* * *

_**Chapter 20: Near**_

Lenalee was dressed in a pretty white silk dress that was bought by her brother. Now, standing in the foyer with Komui and Reever while waiting for her friends, Lenalee could feel envious gazes on her. And the gazes were well-deserved for her dress was really beautiful, with laces and golden trims along the hems. It felt good that her dress was admired, but at the same time, it was quite embarrassing. Apparently, Komui's 'It's all for the sake of graduation' couldn't sink into her head.

"Onii-chan, you shouldn't have bought this dress." Lenalee spoke.

"Why?!" Komui cried out in horror. "Is it not beautiful enough? Fear not, I shall get you another dress immediately!" With that, he swiped out his hand phone but Lenalee stopped him.

"No, it's just that this dress is too elaborate that other people are staring."

"That's good, isn't it? Besides, nothing is too good for my dear sister!" He laughed the kind of laugh which successful conquerors laugh, evil yet with no ill intentions.

"You know, you shouldn't have started it." Reever said as he edged away from his boss and his friend.

"Now I know," Lenalee said guiltily.

"Lenalee!"

The green-haired girl turned around to her name, and smiled when she saw the familiar faces of her friends.

"Allen, Kanda, and Miranda!" Lenalee called excitedly as she ran to them. Both Allen and Kanda were in formal white blouse and black pants, while Miranda was dressed in a simple dress that was decorated with small intricate patterns.

"You do know you are awfully late." Lenalee scolded playfully.

"Thanks to Moyashi asking 'do I look good' a thousand times." Kanda said with a spiteful tone.

"Who is the one who tied his hair a million times before deciding to let it down?" Allen retorted. "What wasted effort."

"You want to pick a fight?"

"Bring it on!"

There was a horrible and dark aura emitting from the two boys which frightened Miranda. She stood behind Lenalee and asked, "Shouldn't we do something about them?"

"Well, they always calm down later, don't they?" Lenalee said, still in her usual cheer. "Just let them be."

"Still, their dark auras are scary. If only Lavi was here..." Miranda suddenly stopped and glanced slowly at Lenalee, whose expression went blank immediately. "I-I'm sorry! I shouldn't mention…" She trailed off.

"It's okay." Lenalee assured her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I don't mind."

"I-I'm sorry anyway." Miranda muttered dejectedly.

Lenalee didn't respond this time. She was deep in her thoughts. How many years has it been? One, two, or five? It felt like a decade, but Lenalee knew he was only away for thirteen months now, a little more than a year. It was a horrible question but Lenalee found herself asking: has Chomesuke…pass away?

Thirteen months ago, on this day, Lavi went away.

_What a depressing thought_, Lenalee scolded herself. Her heart still hurt after all this time. She really did love Lavi, a lot. _And to think today was supposed to be happy since it's graduation_, Lenalee thought bitterly as she looked all around the foyer, looking at her classmates' happy expressions.

"Hey, Lenalee, we should be going up now." Allen said, taking Lenalee from her reverie.

"O-Okay!" Lenalee looked at Komui, "Onii-chan, I'll be going up now."

"Go ahead. I'll make sure I'll take many, many photos of you! Rest assured!" Komui said happily, holding his camera and showing it off. Lenalee could only smile uncertainly and sweat-drop.

Up in the auditorium, Lenalee went through the routine she and the others had been told almost a hundred times: have a good posture, walk gracefully and smiled graciously as you receive the scroll-like thing. _How boring_, Lenalee thought, suppressing a yawn while glancing across the hall and the entrance casually.

Then her eyes widened at the figure standing at the entrance. She could recognize the face and the features for all that was worth: red hair, tall, well-built, eye patch. The hair was covering his eyes, but all the other features were inescapable.

_Lavi._

Suddenly, the figure turned around to leave. Lenalee wanted to chase after the person but just as she stepped out of her line, the teacher barked, "Lenalee, stand in line!"

Reluctant yet without a choice, Lenalee went back to her line obediently. Was that person her imagination? Was that even Lavi?

Her mind whirled with questions that went unanswered, and when finally all of them were dismissed, Lenalee whirled around and dashed outside, looking around in frantic anxiety for at least the shadow of that familiar person. She knew it was hopeless but that didn't stop her.

"Lenalee," The green-haired looked up and saw Allen standing in front of her with a worried look. "Are you alright?" He asked with concern. "You look flustered."

The Chinese girl looked to the sides, and then shook her head. "No, nothing is wrong." Lenalee spoke. "I just needed fresh air."

"That's good." Allen uttered to himself.

Then, the PA system sounded: _To all graduating students, please enter the hall and sit accordingly. To all family members of the graduating students, please be seated in the hall. Thank you._

"Well, that's our cue to go." Allen suggested. Lenalee nodded to her friend and followed him into the hall. Before stepping in, however, she looked back around the corridor, with a final hope that he'll be there.

_You are imagining things_, Lenalee scolded herself and shrugged at her hopelessness. With a slight dejected feeling, she went in, nervous yet ready to receive the scroll which is just an empty paper tied with an overused ribbon.

Very quickly, family members poured into the hall and seated themselves comfortably. They chatted excitedly with their accompaniment and waited in anticipation for the ceremony to start. The graduating students too contributed to the noise with vibrant chit-chats.

Finally, there was a tapping sound on the loudspeakers. Immediately, everyone quieted and looked up at the emcee standing on the podium, dressed smartly in the school blazer on top of white blouse. Her presence indicated the start of the ceremony and that put the all the audience at ease because it was a nuisance to wait for the graduating students' moment of glory.

The opening was a performance by the dance group who displayed their flexibility and grace with a fusion dance of ballet and hip-hop. After that, the band and choir came up the stage to flout their talent and the audience was impressed.

After all the performances, it was finally the time to give out the scrolls. Class by class, the students stood up and walked onto stage, receiving both a handshake from the principal and the scroll. Lenalee was nervous despite convincing herself it was easy. She found her brother and Reever in the audience and attempted to be brave once more, at least for Komui.

"Lenalee Lee."

The green-haired girl heard her name being call and began to walk to the centre of the stage, repeating the actions of all the previous students. Once at the centre of attention, Lenalee started to feel more confident. She posed next to the principal for the snapping of photos, beaming and looking specifically at Komui, who to her embarrassment was snapping the photos way too enthusiastically.

Despite her persistence gaze at Komui, Lenalee couldn't help but let her eyes roam around the audience. At the back of the hall where the door is, Lenalee stopped and stared.

It was that Lavi-lookalike again.

Lenalee couldn't be sure for the camera lights were blinding her view. Hearing the next name being called, a cue for her to go, Lenalee walked down the stage hurriedly, hoping to meet the Lavi-lookalike and confirm his identity.

Yet, by the time Lenalee reached the backdoor, he was gone again. She had missed for the second time. Suddenly, there was tap on her shoulder and Lenalee was startled and jolted. She looked around and saw Kanda who was giving her a curious look.

"Lenalee, are you alright? You look jumpy." Kanda observed.

The Chinese girl was starting to be confused. Was she so obvious? She wanted to tell Kanda about how she thought Lavi might have been here from the possible fragments of her imagination of the red-haired guy. But she stopped herself. Kanda was a rational person. He would obviously be worried and concerned, enough to alert Komui or even Allen. Lenalee knew well enough that those two people would cause immense trouble for her despite their own goodwill. No, it was better not to tell anyone at all.

_Keep it to yourself_, Lenalee told herself as she imagined the things Komui and Allen will do if they think she was becoming mad from missing Lavi too much.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." Lenalee said with a convincing tone. Still, Kanda didn't buy.

"Don't be stupid, you're too easy to see through." The swordsman said. Lenalee was surprised at the roughness in his voice. Despite his tough exterior, Kanda always treated her with gentleness. This was a first. "Come on, Lenalee, spill the truth before I tell Komui." He threatened and looked over at the white-coat man waving excitedly at him and Lenalee. "You know how much you hate him being over-protective and all."

"Are you really serious?" Lenalee asked with a new and previously undiscovered hardness in her voice.

"As serious I can ever be." Kanda nodded.

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"I won't ever think you're crazy. Whatever you say has a reason."

Lenalee looked grateful for that moment, but then that smile faded as she muttered audibly, "I think I saw Lavi." Kanda kept quiet, which made Lenalee frowned. "Well, say something." She prompted.

"If you saw him, then he is here, isn't he?" Kanda said matter-of-factly, unfazed.

"But you know he can't be here, because he is in Paris." Lenalee said impatiently. "Am I becoming mad? It's already been so long, almost a little more than a year."

"Don't doubt yourself, Lenalee." Kanda said. Then Kanda saw a random person waving to him. He understood that he was being called and nodded to the person in reply. Looking back at Lenalee, he said, "And don't doubt him. You know his feelings for you were real."

He left without looking back at Lenalee, leaving the Chinese girl slightly confused. His voice held a mystery, but then again, everything about Kanda was almost a mystery.

Even so, she could not shake off that feeling that Kanda was hinting something. Was Lavi back for real? If so, why didn't anyone tell her? _He can't be back yet, not after everything that has happened_, Lenalee thought bitterly.

A hand touched Lenalee's shoulder briefly and the green-haired girl turned to see Komui.

"Have you tried the chocolate cookies at the reception table?" Komui took a bite on the cookie he was holding. "It is delicious! They taste exactly like top-grade cookies!"

"Onii-chan, you weren't supposed to be taking anything from the reception table before the reception!" Lenalee scolded.

"The remaining programme is too boring." Komui held up the programme booklet and Lenalee couldn't agree more with her brother. But beside that, it was just plain rude to start on refreshments in the midst of the concert.

"You needed to tell me something?" Lenalee asked, eyeing Komui. She knew that however immature and sister-complex-y her brother was, he was never one to ignore proprieties, so there must be something up.

"I just got a call that from my superior. They said I'm needed for a meeting an hour later." He glanced at his watch. "So, I can't pick you home. But I can help you take your stuff. I can put them in the car."

"My stuff?" Lenalee asked questioningly.

"Didn't you say that you still had books in your classroom?" Komui asked, a nervous look starting to take over his face.

"No, I didn't." She was now getting more confused. "The teacher had asked everyone to clear their stuff from their tables some time ago."

"Well, I'm sure you must have left some things back at the classroom." Komui said with an unnatural quickness. "You better go check. It'll be troublesome if you had to return to retrieve any forgotten paraphernalia."

Lenalee was really confused now. But she didn't question because Komui was her brother after all. She had trusted him her whole life. Besides, he wasn't wrong; she really could have left something in class.

"Alright, I'll go to class to see if anything was left behind." Lenalee said, giving in to her brother. As they bid each other a momentary goodbye, Lenalee frowned as she tried to remember of the things she could have left behind. If they were books, she wouldn't have care less. School was over and she was sure that whatever subjects she will be taking in future won't require her old textbooks.

_Oh well, I'll donate them to the charity or something_, she thought breezily. As she reached her classroom, she saw that the door was slightly ajar. She didn't care much, because it wasn't unnatural that doors were opened. But the moment she stepped into the old classroom that was filled with bittersweet memories, she paused at the sight of that familiar back view.

She couldn't think for a moment, telling herself that it was someone else. But that name had involuntarily slipped from her mouth.

"La…Lavi?"

The person turned, and Lenalee gasped as she realized that it was really him.

Lavi had really returned.

Lenalee wanted to rush forward to embrace him, but she couldn't. Her feet were glued to the ground and all that guilt returned in waves as she remembered of her own deeds. They weren't bad, but they weren't honorable either.

His handsome features were unchanged, but his eyes held a new kind of twinkle. He smiled that charming smile of his, and began to walk towards Lenalee with slow calculating steps, as if thinking of something while taking each move.

His smile was gentle and kind, and that only made Lenalee cringe with remorse. She willed herself to move backwards, away from him. But before she could do so, Lavi was already in front of her, grabbing her arms and leading her into his embrace.

Lenalee was startled. In her chest, she felt an odd pang. Her voice seemed to disappear and all she could think was: _I'm in Lavi's arms!_

"I won't leave again, Lenalee." His voice brought Lenalee from her trance-like state. She wasn't dreaming. This wasn't unreal.

Lenalee's arms reached up to Lavi's shoulders and clung, almost desperately, onto his black coat longingly and lovingly. She smiled happily to herself, and a tear fell across her cheek.

He was unchanged, not completely, but still unchanged.

When they let go of each other, they looked at each other with an earnest in their eyes. Lenalee opened her lips to speak, but Lavi silenced her by placing a finger on them.

"Let me speak first." Lavi began. "Chomesuke passed away five months ago. I didn't return because I wanted to have some time-out for myself, so I remained in Paris. I came back last week, but I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to face you."

"I thought I should be the one wondering how to face you." Lenalee laughed slightly.

"But we both did face each other in the end. Now, we are here, aren't we?" Lavi said and smiled before continuing, "I told Kanda and Allen of my return, and I told them not to tell you."

"Why?" Lenalee asked with a sad voice.

"I didn't know what to do when I see you. They were my friends; buddies; pals. They were _the _guys I go to." Lavi answered and was glad when Lenalee understood. "They were the ones who planned everything for us to meet like this. Your brother was an accomplice as well." He laughed.

Lenalee then recalled Komui's odd behavior and now knew why he had been so nervous. He was never comfortable lying to his own sister, but that virtue was questionable when it came to other people.

"All was good in the end, wasn't it?" Lavi said. He took Lenalee's chin gently and tilted up her head so that their eyes meet. When he bent down, their lips met in a gentle and chaste kiss.

After all those years, Lenalee missed his kiss the most. The warm air he would breathe on her face would bring her a sense of intimacy and closeness to him. The taste of him, the feel of his lips against hers and the scent of his cologne comforted her and excited her.

After the kiss, they embraced again, happy and contented with each other's presence.

"Were you that person who I kept on seeing?" Lenalee asked. "The one I saw during the rehearsal, and the person who was watching me when I went up the stage?"

"That was me." Lavi confirmed. "The plan was for me to remain in class until you came. But I couldn't resist. I wanted to see you. You look so beautiful in this dress, like always."

"You have no idea how much I missed you." Lenalee sighed blissfully.

"I had an idea, because I wanted to see you as much." Lavi replied. "But don't talk now. Let us enjoy the moment. Kanda and the others would come up soon. And we wouldn't want Komui to see us this close. He will murder me."

Both of them were left alone for a while, making up for the lost time they had not seen each other.

It was all too tender.

* * *

A/N: Even though this was the last chapter, I don't think I did very well, and I apologize for that. I have somewhat lost a little bit of passion in writing because I've been studying so much for my upcoming O Levels that I think I pretty much lost passion in many things in life. Still, I sincerely hope you have enjoyed this chapter.

All the thanks to my readers and reviewers:

tokiya

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Miss Itachi Uchiha

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Julye loves Lavi

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ImJustNutty

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Mehhhh

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hime-chan

KuroNekoInu

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And of course, all of you, including me, have to really thank **yinlin56** for her contributions for the earlier chapters.

So here is where the curtain closes.

(BIG BOWS)

Until next time!


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